Thursday, February 2, 2012

Full disclosure: No one's happy all the time.

It's always sad when couples we love break up, but it's so much harder to comprehend when it seems to come out of nowhere. It shakes us up: if it could happen to them, it could happen to any of us. And I'm not just talking about celebrity break ups (Heidi and Seal, why???) I'm talking about people we actually know. Think about it. Thanks to social networking, we all get a photographic window to everyone's happiest relationship moments. On Facebook, everyone seems like they are in perfect relationships with perfect kids and perfect pets.
If you scroll through my Facebook albums, you'll see wedding pics, honeymoon pics, a trip to Italy, my 30th birthday, holidays, etc...all where the H-Bomb and I are smiling our asses off. They are all genuinely happy moments. But obviously, we're not going to pose for an angry picture right after getting into a fight over...let's say, him "making" me walk a super long distance in uncomfortable shoes instead of hailing a cab. And if we did pose for one, I certainly would not have posted it on Facebook.

Like every couple we have our moments. So, it got me thinking, what if all the bad moments we'd prefer not to put on display suddenly appeared on all our FB profiles? It's a scary fucking thought, right? I'm guessing a lot of couples would be tagged in photos of a few silent car rides, drunken arguments, irritated bickering at the airport, and maybe even some nights spent on far opposite sides of the bed.

That's why the above picture is one of my faves from our wedding. It kind of looks like we're having an "oh shit, what did we just do" moment, but we were just chillin' drinking our champs. And then on the flip side, there's this picture taken in San Gimignano in Tuscany:Okay, admittedly, it's not the hottest picture of us (he's so much taller than me, the poor guy has to contort his neck just to be in the same frame)-- but we look sort of cozy and happy, right? Except for this was my grumpiest day on our trip. We'd taken two trains and a bus from Rome to get there. It was cold and raining. I had super itchy mosquito bites on my legs. And even though we were in this majestic town, I was about to lose my mind when the H bomb decided we should go to this totally random archaeology museum where they were not serving pasta or wine or gelato. The nerve!

So, consider this post my little confession that my life partner and I don't spend all our waking moments smiling and gushing about how much we love each other (I know, you are shocked). And any of you who have been in a relationship or are currently in one, didn't/don't either. So, I challenge you. Confess one of your bad moments in the comment section OR even better, email us a "happy" picture accompanied with the real story that we can post on the blog. I promise, you'll feel way less dirty once you do.


  1. I'm so glad you put this out there for the youngsters in the world who still believe and / or feel the pressure to live up to the perfect 'Hollywood' relationship that I grew up believing in. I don't know how many times I felt like I had personally failed because I didn't have 24/7 bliss or defeated the relationship for not living up to expectations. I'm not thinking that the other extreme is necessary here, don't stick around if it isn't right but don't give up if it isn't perfect is what I'm working on. As for mine and I, we have quite a few bad, not so great, totally imperfect moments and if I find a photo to go with one..I'm totally brave enough to jump on this.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment M1. And totally agree, you can't stick around if things aren't right either, but I think some people assume that if a relationship gets hard, that means they should cut bait and every relationship is going to get hard at points.

  2. Please refer to any picture of us taken at your wedding post-10:15pm. Thank you.