Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Hey. Stop BLOWING OFF Los Angeles. She's fragile.

I've been living in Los Angeles for six and a half years. It's the longest I've stayed in any city since I've left home and I take it a little personal when peeps turn their nose up at LA. I'm tired of all you New Yorkers rolling your eyes at southern California. Sheesh. LA is like a battered girlfriend. Or a pretty girl that never gets taken seriously. I'm here to stand up for her (yes, I know the "los" = masculine, but to me LA is a girl through and through). If we're not careful, she could end up a contestant on The Bachelor. So, without further adieu, my open love letter to Los Angeles.

Dear Los Angeles,

Yes, it's true. Everyone that doesn't live here thinks you suck. But they don't know you like I know you. They don't know what it's like to drink iced coffee and wear cute strappy sandals in December. Or feel warm sand between their toes in January. Or eat outside in February. They don't get that it still gets cold enough at night to wear our cute scarves and coats. These people are living in a world of denial called "seasons."

LA, I love you. I don't even mind the traffic so much. It just gives me more time to listen to NPR, which has made me an exponentially smarter person. Plus, I no longer have to order groceries online or lug them ten blocks from some corner bodega. Now, I can simply put them in the trunk of my adorable blue Mini Cooper. Also, LA if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be living in a giant two bedroom, two bath apartment that would probably go for $5,000+ a month in Brooklyn. With all the money I save, I get to eat my way through Jonathan Gold's 99. Which is important in a city with the best Mexican food and Sushi.

I'm sure you know what people say about you. That everyone in LA just talks about the "industry." It's true. Most of the people here work in film or TV. Which is....AWESOME. Movies and TV shows are super fun, way more fun than say...coal mines or the stock market. And seriously, the celebrity sightings? They never get old. I lived in NY for three years-- trust me when I say, the celebrity sightings here are better. I've seen Ryan Gosling, in the flesh, three times (and counting). And how fun is it to watch a commercial and be like "I totally know where that is!" So. much. fun.

LA, I love your east side neighborhoods. Echo Park, Silverlake, and Los Feliz will always hold a special place in my heart. But I love you too, Miracle Mile with your museums and your food trucks. Oh, and Downton. You are so up and coming. Let's not forget Venice with your canals and your beach bums and your precious little Abbot Kinney.

But most of all, I love the people of Hell-A (and I can call it that, because I live here). Sure, there's a lot of cheesy douchefaces trying to become famous, but I ignore those people the same way I ignored the people who lived on the upper east side of Manhattan (only after my sister no longer lived in that neighborhood, of course). Angelenos smile a lot. They even wave at you when they cut you off or don't let you merge no matter how close you are to crashing into a parked car. And they always warn you if you're parked in in a street cleaning zone. I would just like to make it clear that when I refer to the nice people of the city of Angels, I am not talking about the bitch who totally stole my parking spot at the Farmer's Market two years ago.

Anyway, LA. Stay strong. You have so much that those other cities don't. The ocean. The Getty. The Clippers. The Magic Castle. The Oscars. The super cool book club that I'm in. All those ridiculously pretty houses in Hancock Park. Even the smog seems like it's getting better. And seriously, who cares about the Empire State Building when you've got the Capitol Records building-- or better yet that really bright blue Samsung building on Wilshire? Not me, folks. Not me.


P.S. You know what else makes LA awesome? Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Donald Trump do not live here.


  1. I'm sassypants, and I approve this message.

  2. I couldn't agree with this more! I'll have to admit that I had a lifelong habit of rolling my eyes at LA from the East Coast (for no reason other than my own assumptions about the place) and now that I'm here, I love it! I can't imagine living anywhere else in the US. LA is my jam.