Thursday, February 9, 2012

Living alone & the BLOW OFF

Even though I spew a lot of opinions when it comes to dating and relationships on this blog, I'm the first to admit that half the time I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But if you don't mind indulging me for this one post, I'd like to get a little cocky and preachy and Oprah-fied. If there's one piece of advice I could give to the ladies (and gents) it would be this:

Live by yourself.

I know it's not financially feasible for all, but I highly recommend living alone for at least a year or two rather than going from roommates to a significant other. Trust me. There is something magical about it. It's an experience you don't want to miss out on. For starters, the apartment hunt is way easier when you only have yourself to please. Once you move in, you can decorate the place exactly how you want to decorate it. You can watch whatever you want on TV. You can let the dishes pile up. You can go to the bathroom with the door open. You can walk around naked. You can bleach your mustache and cover your face with zit cream and no one has to know about it. You can fart out loud without having to giggle and apologize about it. It's a beautiful thing.

I lived by myself for two years before taking the co-habitation plunge. My older sister lived on her own in New York and then in San Francisco and since I never outgrew wanting to be her, I decided that I had to live by myself too. So, I found the perfect one bedroom a block away from Sunset Junction in Silverlake, thanks to a friend that also lived in the building. I actually got to pick out furniture from Ikea without making sure other people liked it too. Sure, it had its drawbacks-- like my psychotic downstairs neighbors and my "things that go bump in the night" scares and worst of all-- not having any girls around to help me pick out an outfit. But it taught me how to be alone. So, now when the H bomb goes on business trips, I don't collapse in a heap on our hardwood floors wondering if I'll survive through the night.

I will admit...I wasn't single during my living alone phase and did spend a few nights a week at the bf's. I do think the experience could be more challenging without some company once in awhile, but hey, there's something to be said for living solo and dating. I'm guessing it would be exactly like Carrie Bradshaw's life in Sex and the City.

Anyway, if the option to live by yourself is still there, give it a try. If not, don't freak out. We can't always experience everything we want before we shack up with someone forever. I came to terms with the fact that I'll never get to date a girl or have a threesome a long time ago.


  1. I lived alone for 8 whole years and they were literally the BEST years of my life. During those eight years, my ex-bf wanted to live together but I refused because I loved living alone so much. I've been living with my husband now for about 2.5 years since we got married and I am still getting used to it. It seems to work out well though because he works in the night -- no need to fight over what to watch on TV.

  2. I feel like that's the biggest drawback is that it almost makes it harder to live with a guy when you get used to having your own space. Sometimes when the husband and I get into a fight, I like to say things like "god i miss living alone." I'm so mean.