Now that we live in the world of relationship status updates on Facebook, I think it's time to set some ground rules on how to deal with a break up and not be a complete idiot about it on the internet.
So, NEW RULE: If you just broke someone's heart into a million pieces and they're just beginning to process things like, I don't know, having to move out of the home they share with you...then, it's probably better to wait more than twelve hours before you announce the break up to all your mutual friends via your Facebook relationship status. You know, so maybe the person who you completely blind-sided would have enough time to tell sister and friends themselves, instead of everyone they love learning the news on Facebook.
I know what you're thinking, because I'm psychic. Who would send someone reeling by dumping them and then be narcissistic enough to announce it to their Facebook friends just hours later? Only a total douche bag. Here's how I think a change in relationship status should be handled on Facebook. Perhaps if you're the person doing the dumping, you can hold off on making any sort of internet announcements until the person who got dumped has had enough time to let things sink in and change their status first. I know, I know-- when you're someone who thrives on attention, it can be hard to hold your tongue that long, but don't you think it's the least you could do? Also, you can even quietly change your relationship status without it showing up on everyone's newsfeed.
Oh, and there's also no reason to write a public statement in your status update to tell your side of the story on the break up. Yes, I know-- who would be arrogant enough to assume something like this is necessary? Again, only a total douche bag. Here's the deal. Unless you're a famous person, you do not need to make some public statement about your break up. Do the 300+ people on Facebook that hardly even know you really care? No. And your close friends and family can be contacted via text, e-mail, or phone. I don't care if you feel like you need to explain yourself, because people think you're an asshole. You are an asshole. Just accept it.