Monday, April 30, 2012

BLOW OFF mythbusters: girls should never make the first move

A few of my girlfriends disagree with me on this point, but I want to know what the dudes think: should girls make the first move? My opinion: HELL YES. We're part of a generation that goes after what they want and makes things happen. Would you ever just sit on your ass and wait for your dream job to fall into your lap or would you go after it. You'd go after it, duh. So, why can't the same be said about relationships?

I made the first move with the H-bomb. If I never went up to him that drunken night in Orlando, Florida who knows where either us would be today. Probably homeless and miserable with crack-cocaine addictions. But back when I lived in NY, my friends used to get annoyed with me for approaching guys in bars. They felt that things were way less likely to pan out with a boy if he wasn't the one doing the pursuing. They either didn't believe in making the first move or were just sick and tired of making all the effort. BUT:

A. these were girls who were used to getting approached by men. The only guys approaching me were three feet tall.

B. these were girls with way more patience than me. I want to scream my head off if I'm stopped at a red light for more than twelve seconds. I could not just sip my vodka tonic for three hours, while making eye contact and hoping cute boy would approach me before last call.

C. can't we give guys a break sometimes? Don't they have fragile egos too? Doesn't it make them feel kind of hot and desirable if a girl comes up to them? Isn't it a relief that they don't have to come up with some witty cool thing to say to a group of girls who will probably just roll their eyes and say they're just having a girls' night?

I would say the majority of the guys I've dated, I asked out first. Starting with my sixth grade boyfriend. I asked him if he wanted "to go with me" in the middle of a recess basketball game. He said: sure. We were eleven. That's right, I was progressive in 1991. I was a woman of the nineties. It was me and Hillary Clinton.

But purely for the sake of controversy and to stir a debate in the comments section *fingers crossed* i'm going to say...I'm not a fan of...wait for it...girls saying "I love you" first. We have to draw the line somewhere when it comes to blurring gender roles, right? Plus, I've said it first and it did not work in my favor (okay, fine-- I wasn't even dating the guy at the time). Also, i think some guys are too big of pussies to not just say "i love you, too" even if they don't really mean it yet. Except of course the guy that I said it to-- who stuttered and ran away.

photo credit: johnlund.com

2 comments:

  1. of course girls should make the first move... especially if it's only just TALKING for the first time. i tend to like slightly shy guys and if i didn't introduce myself to anyone, i'd likely still be a virgin. i'm not getting any younger people.

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  2. you were drunk?

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