Wednesday, May 9, 2012

North Carolina's Amendment One and Why I'm Moving On

North Carolina voters made a big mistake tonight. I know we gays say that every time one of these amendments banning us from having equal rights under the law passes, but it's true. But the amendment goes way beyond defining marriage as being between one man and one woman. The amendment bans anything resembling marriage - civil unions and domestic partnerships are off the table too. If you're lying sick in a hospital, you can't decide what family members should be able to visit you. The government gets to decide, and if you're gay, it's not your partner. It's a sick, sick way to treat your fellow human beings, and to those gays and lesbians who are no doubt devastated in North Carolina right now, you have my love and my support, for whatever it's worth.

It's not that I'm terribly surprised North Carolina voters opted not to stand on the right side of history. After all, the last time this state voted on an amendment to its constitution, it was to ban interracial marriage, and we all know how that turned out. I don't let myself get too depressed anymore, because I know it's coming. And I know that when it happens (marriage equality, that is), these people who voted yes on bigotry will have one of two choices. Get on the bus or let it run you over.

Something big has changed in me in the years since Prop. 8 passed in California. Then, I was devastated. How could people do this to us? Why was I considered to be somehow less worthy? Now, if you support my rights, I'm glad to have you in my corner. If you don't, get out of my way. I'll delete you from Facebook, ignore you at family functions, leave the room when you start spouting political garbage. And those are just the people I know.

The people I don't know. I may not be able to block you or ignore you, but when our right to marry comes, and mark my words, it's coming (the Vice President supports it, and frankly, so does the President, he's just playing his hand close to his chest)... the day it happens, I will sit glued to the news as you all scream "Rapture," "Armageddon," "an end to American values as we know them." I'll watch, and I'll laugh. Why? Because you said the same damn things when we elected a Black man. Never thought that was gonna happen, did you?

Enjoy victory now, folks. It's short lived. How's that for a blow off?

UPDATE: Just a few moments after this post went live, President Obama declared that he has officially evolved and supports marriage equality, further proving the point of this article. "What a difference a day makes." Those words have never rung more true.


  1. Fan-fucking-tastic.

  2. so well said! LOVE this post Ross and thank you so much for writing it at the 11th hour for the BLOW OFF. You are amazing. And i can't wait to get freaky on the dance floor at your future wedding.