Thursday, May 17, 2012

the off-again, off-again, off-again BLOW OFF

Last week, Film Girl wrote an awesome post about how she got back together with her college boyfriend after he dumped her...only to eventually get dumped by him again.  It made me realize that I've had follow up trysts with most of the guys I've dated-- usually in hopes that it might lead to something-- and it does.  Me getting hurt all over again.  But alas, sometimes you need to get hurt twice to really truly get over a person.   A second break up helps answer the whole what could've been question.  Answer: NOTHING.

But getting back together with an ex for a third time is where I draw the line.  Unless you are on a television series called Friends and your names are Ross and Rachel, it is not okay to be OFF again, on again, OFF again, on again, OFF again with someone.  Stop at the second "off", people.  I'm pretty sure third times the charm does not apply when it comes to horrible a-holes that dumped you.  Plus, once you've reached a third break up, you've also hit the statute of limitations when it comes to discussing said heartbreak.  You essentially have to suffer through the pain alone-- with everyone giving you "i told you so" looks.  Sure, maybe it worked for Carrie and Big...but again, they are fictional television characters with a movie franchise and these rules do not apply to them.

I realize this is all easier said than done.  When you still have feelings for someone and they come out of the woodwork begging for you back, it's hard not to wonder if it means you're meant to be together.  What's a girl or boy to do in this situation?  Well, since we're on the subject of fictional television characters, I say take a page from Nick's book on New Girl.   When he hit rock bottom after a break up with his girlfriend Caroline, he made a video to remind his future self that under no circumstances should he ever get back together with her.  It's sort of a self-intervention.  Genius.   I will personally hire a film crew and help you make a Dear Future Self video.  Sometimes we don't want to listen to our friends when they try to warn us or give us advice, but we can't really ignore the old, sad, pathetic version of ourselves, can we?

1 comment:

  1. Love this post. Love Nick's video on New Girl.

    But seriously, I think a lot of that comes from the insecurity that you will never find anyone else to love you so you just stick with the same person who it NEVER WORKS OUT WITH.

    Don't worry, you WILL find someone else that's BETTER for you and in the mean time, hang out with me doing single-people stuff!

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