Tuesday, May 15, 2012

puppy love & the BLOW OFF

Anyone who knows me personally or reads this blog is familiar with my obsession with pugs.  I've never been an animal person and I think I initially fell in love with pugs, because they look like furry babies.  The big eyes, the wrinkled foreheads, the chubby bellies.  After years of collecting ridiculous amounts of pug paraphernalia (plates, socks, posters, calendars, etc.) the life partner and I finally took the plunge and got one.  In a way, I was glad we waited until after we were married.  Part of me felt like I didn't want to get a pet out of wedlock.  Sure, it was okay to move in together, but to raise an animal together?  That would be a serious commitment. 

And it is.  Our little pup completely depends on us for food and bathroom breaks.  She's young, so she wants attention and someone to play with.  We still crate her when we leave the house, so that means we can't be away from home for more than four consecutive hours at a time cause her bladder wouldn't like it.  In the process, we've totally turned into those dog people that talk about our pet like she's our child.  She sleeps in bed with us.  We show strangers pictures of her.  We basically spend all our evenings staring at her and gushing about how cute she is.  And we're totally part of the dog community in our neighborhood. Yes, there's an actual dog community.  I know all of my neighbors that have dogs now.  I don't really know their names, but I don't need to as long as I know their dogs names.   I never truly understood the bond people have with their pets, but now I know, it's legit.

I'm glad none of my old bfs had dogs for me to bond with, because it would have been that much sadder to say good bye to them and their pet.  I know a few people that really bonded with their significant other's cat or dog and had a harder time parting ways with the animal than the ex.  My cousin and her old boyfriend got a dog together and part of the reason she avoided breaking up with him and moving out of their place was because she would miss the dog.  She knew she couldn't exactly be the one to leave him and take the dog too.  After their relationship ended, she missed the dog way more than the boyfriend.  I once helped a friend move out of a boyfriend's apartment and she was totally stoic the whole time, until his cat looked at her with its big cat eyes and she burst into tears.  I also know couples who have shared custody of their pets after their relationship came to an end.  I'm guessing in most of these scenarios, the break up was as cordial as possible.  If it were me-- I'd be like "you will never see your precious dog again, asshole!"  I even know a couple who rescued a dog together, broke up, shared custody of the dog, and eventually got back together.  I like to think it was the dog that brought them back together.

So, I guess getting a pet together isn't the worst idea-- especially since you don't have to be married to know you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone.  And like everyone says, it's good training for if and when you have kids.  It sort of makes you even more terrified at the prospect of having children.  The best thing about pets-- they can't grow up to tell you they hate you and slam the door on your face.


  1. I had a dog out of wedlock with my live in boyfriend of 5.5 years. We broke up amicably and decided to share custody. That lasted two weeks. He called and said I could decide who he would live with. So I picked myself (duh) to which he replied: your life isn't conducive to having a dog, I'm keeping him. I went bat shit crazy, my parents locked me in the house. The next day, when everyone was at work I drove an hour down to his house, broke in and took my dog back. Then I called him to let him know I never wanted to talk to his ass ever again. Yes, I stole my dog, but he was stolen from me first.

  2. Great topic! My bf and I moved in together a few months ago, and our issue was integration of our current pets. (I had a dog and two cats and he had two cats, so now we have a zoo, lol.) So while it's pretty clear which pets would go where if we broke up, I can't imagine saying goodbye to his kitties. Of course, I can't imagine saying goodbye to him either, so hopefully that's never an issue! :-P

    Anonymous, I'd have done the same thing!!! Nobody gets between me and my puppy...


  3. Other pet pluses; You can sell the offspring if they get knocked up. You never have to send them to college. You don't have to buy them a car. They hear things that you don't / can't. (sometimes this is totally annoying) It isn't at all weird or illegal to still sleep with them when they are adults. Their toys are way cheaper than video games. They don't need a new pair of shoes every other week. They aren't concerned with what all the other dogs/cats are wearing this week. They won't be getting weird body parts pierced or tattoed. They won't be coming home with an unpleasant / unwanted boyfriend or girlfriend.
    Is it at all obvious I'm a dog owner?

  4. omg, anonymous. That is an amazing story. I think it deserves a post all its own. I may have to steal it. R-- you guys are like the brady bunch animal planet version! my friend and her ex had four cats between them and one didn't get along with the others and it was his cat and that made things really awkward for awhile. I'm just sayin' is all-- I totes agree! The only good thing about kids is that if they love you enough they will hopefully take care of us when we're old and grey. other than that, dogs win!

  5. also-- i was having a chat with my neighbor who's dog is really old and he said that he thought the dog was holding on just for them. that they had been through a lot together, including him and his wife getting divorced and the dog had gotten him through it. I started sobbing uncontrollably when i heard all this.

  6. LOL! I can give you more details if you'd like to turn it into a blow off. I'm not up to par in the writing field.

    1. Yes! Please! Email as much details as you want to theblowoffwtf@gmail.com and don't worry about the writing!