Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Twice-Baked Blow Off

My first serious relationship started when I was a freshman in college. He was my first real boyfriend, my first “time", and my first love. I met him when our dorm had a fire alarm in the middle of a hurricane and he shared his umbrella with me. I immediately went into “make him my boyfriend” mode and a month later, we were an adorable item. We dated throughout my freshman year and then at the beginning of the summer, he called to break up with me. I was totally shocked and not at all pleased that he waited until he was safe at home in another city to make the call. My 19-year-old heart was crushed but I was also very adamant that he was wrong. Yes, we were broken up but I had a feeling we weren’t over.

So, throughout the summer, I let it be… we would IM every now and then but nothing serious. I didn’t call him or initiate contact and when we got back to school for the fall, I waited. For about half an hour. That’s how long before he called me to ask me to come over and see his new dorm room. So I smugly swaggered across campus, Harry Potter Chess Set in hand (yea, yea, I was a nerd back then too) and that night he said “I don’t think I can handle watching you be with anyone else” to which I responded “well, you don’t really get a choice.” BAM. I was so proud of myself. Inside, I was, like, jumping up and down but I managed to play it cool. By the end of the night, we were back together again. However, I wasn’t about to just throw myself back in. I held out on sex for a while, citing that I needed to trust him again. He was super patient and amazing and about 3 weeks into that, my mother called me and said “Claire, I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, but you’re not just punishing him, you’re punishing yourself. Now go have sex already!” And, because my mother knows best, I did! And we lived happily ever…

OK we were together for another year of school until the NEXT summer when he got to his hometown and immediately called to break up with me. I was all “you are such a one-trick pony!” Actually, I was more like “I need my mom and I need her to bring 10 milkshakes when she comes.” I was DEVASTATED. I cried and cried and cried. I drove around my campus listening to break up songs, singing, driving and crying all at once. I feel bad for anyone who may have looked over at me while stopped at a red light. I was NOT cute. Then, one night I was on the phone with a friend, crying a bit over the breakup, and I started to feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t help it and I just puked everywhere in my car (don’t worry, I drove an Element so it wiped down right away). The throwing up came out of nowhere and I didn’t even tell the person I was talking to I had done it. They just kept on talking while I sat in disbelief. After that, though, I didn’t cry once over that guy. It was like my body’s way of just rejecting all that negativity.

So, did I let him break my heart once? Yea. Did I let him break my heart a SECOND time? Oh, totally. But I do not regret ONE second of our relationship. We’re still, more or less, friends to this day (although it took a while to get there). He’ll always have a special place in my heart and I learned a LOT from being dumped by him… twice. And this is why I never fault a girl (or guy) for jumping back into a relationship with the person that blew them off. Sometimes, you just have unfinished business!

3 comments:

  1. There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
    GWB

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  2. I think almost every guy I've ever dated, I've hooked up with once more after a break up. Sometimes you need a second BLOW OFF to really be able to move on, and sometimes it just softens the blow of the first break up if they end up still wanting you. But yes, the second blow off definitely takes away the hope of things eventually working out.

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