Thursday, June 28, 2012

why do people get married young?!

When you reach your thirties, there are a variety of things that make you realize you're officially old. For instance, you get super hung over after two glasses of wine and you spend Friday nights falling asleep on the couch right before Bill Maher gets to New Rules. The other thing that happens is that when you hear about nineteen year olds getting engaged, this is your reaction:


I haven't commented on the whole Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth engagement since it happened last week, because I needed a little more time to gather my thoughts about it. And now that I have, I can describe it in one word: RIDONKULOUS.

Here's the deal. My mom got married when she was nineteen. But that was 1974 in Iran. And as much as she loves my dad, I know if she could go back and do it all over again with the same result, she would have wanted the opportunity to go on dates and have boyfriends and get married a little later in life.  I got married when I was thirty and I know in most parts of the country (AKA red states) that's considered super old.  The average marrying age for women in the US is somewhere around 26.5. So, assuming Miley takes about a year to plan her wedding, she'll still be more than six years below the average.  Chances are, she'll be divorced before she hits 26.  Did she learn nothing from Avril Lavigne and Derek whatever from Sum 41?

I realize that Liam Hemsworth is smoking hot and that if a girl is dating a super hot guy, she might be more inclined to marry him.  But I also have it on good authority from girls that went to UCLA with my brother that they ran into Liam in Westwood a couple years ago when he was still dating Miley and he made out with one of them.  So, he's kind of a cheater.  I'm actually extremely confused as to why he proposed.  He's getting pretty famous in his own right.  He could marry anyone. He could choose not to have Billy Ray Cyrus as a father-in-law.

But enough about Miley and Liam.  Truth be told, these beeotches have more money than God, have travelled all over the world, and basically the most exciting thing that they haven't done yet is get married and have their wedding picture on the cover of People Magazine.  BUT what about the normal non-famous people who get married in their late teens or early twenties?  Here's my theory: I think most of them are the religious types that decide they are going to wait 'til they get married to have sex.  Which basically means they end up getting married way younger than all of us more reasonable people that were having sex all along-- just so they can finally bone.  By the time they reach their thirties, they're bored and wishing they slept with more people.  That's pretty much why Jessica Simpson divorced Nick Lachey.  Crap!  All roads lead back to celebrities.

Anyway, I just feel like it's a bad idea to get married before the age of 28 in the 21st century.  Any younger and you don't really know who you are yet.  But maybe I'm wrong here.   A friend of mine is thirty-five and in a serious relationship and she was recently saying that when you already know yourself so well, it can make it harder to fit someone into your life.  I guess sometimes knowing what you like and what you don't like can make you less malleable to what someone else wants out of life.   But, personally, I think the mid-thirties is a good age to meet the one.  After all, we are all living longer and longer.  Back in the day, when you married someone you only thought it would be for like twenty years cause everyone was dead by their 40s.  Are Miley and Liam really ready to spend the next seventy years together?  I'll be stunned if they make it to three years.

Do you think when Liam proposed to Miley, instead of saying yes she actually nodded her head like "yeah", moved her hips like "yeah"?  I do.


  1. Great post.

    First, people need to realize that in this day and age, a person changes SO much between the age of 20 and 30. You're a completely different person!

    Also, I have a sort of harsh theory that a lot of people fall in love in their early 20s and actually get scared that they'll never find anyone else who loves them if they don't marry the person they're with.

  2. I feel like there are two options: get married pretty damn young, while you're still optimistic, and try your damndest to grow with your partner (and maybe succeed, maybe fail) OR get to be my age (26), realize what a huge thing marriage is, and be too scared to jump into anything until you get even older and start feeling the "I'm going to die alone vibes" that force you to get over your fear. Too cynical?

  3. It sounds like you're trying to justify your being single... You can meet "the one" at anytime.

    Anyways, from a scientific/medical viewpoint, its better to have children when you're younger:

    1. The write of this blog is happily married! I'm the one trying to justify being single! Hehe...

      Also, we're in a time where not all people want to have children and marriage is about more than that.

    2. Fair enough.

      However, most people who want to start a family do get married. The negative effects of having children at an advanced age should be considered.

    3. Sara, I couldn't agree more! There are a couple of things I'd like to add. Marriage is no longer viewed as a life-long commitment, and those who divorce no longer are looked down on or made to feel embarrassed or like a failure. As is the current housing market with foreclosures & short sales; what used to be seen as a huge embarrassment and a personal failure is now viewed as common practice. As much as divorce no longer carries a stigma with it, it sure would be nice to see couples enter into marriage with the hindsight that being in your 30s or 40s can provide. I personally found that marriage is not an answer to anything. My commitment to my partner goes deeper and has more value than any government certificate can provide. But that's a whole different subject.

      Another thing I'd like to add is all the ridiculous attention given to brides prior and during the wedding ceremony. Most young women today are starved for attention, and what better way to feed their addiction than by the wedding ceremony itself. The need to feel like a princess out ways the reality of what it takes to have a successful partnership, when it should be the other way around. I myself congratulate all the couples on their wedding day, because it's the proper thing to do. However, what I really want to say is "best of luck" and give them my sincere congrats once they're able to celebrate their 10-year anniversary. Achieving this is the big accomplishment, unlike the big party sponsored/financed by their parents. It's my opinion that "not for life, but for now" with no consequences for failure makes getting married just another fun thing to do.

  4. Couldn't agree more. <----Religious and married at eighteen. Now less religious and divorced at twenty-six, but happy : )

    1. Wow! If you ever want to write us a post on your experience of getting married young, we would love to hear it!