Wednesday, July 25, 2012
How Jordan Catalano, Troy Dyer, Mr. Big, and Hank Moody Ruined My Life
Posted by 20 LA Wannabe
"Why are you like this? "
"Like how you are." Jordan Catalano and Angela Chase- My So Called Life
What the fuck does that even mean? Why are you like this? Like how you are? What else can I expect though from a television character that can't read. I feel like now I'm programmed to go for these somewhat lovable losers that make us think that they will someday blossom into good men who don't hurt us and like us even when it isn't convenient for them.
Pop quiz hot shot...what would Jordan Catalano be doing now 17 years later if the show had gone on for more than one glorious season. Well he'd probably be fat, just mastering Dr. Seuss, and cheating on you with the local bar maid (who's fat by the way) while you're at home tucking your kids into bed. You would be the main breadwinner while he locked himself in the garage working on his car, Red, every Saturday afternoon.
Troy Dyer... you think you're any better? You totally shat all over Lelaina until the last ten minutes of the movie and something tells me you continued to do it.
Mr. Big...first off YOU MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. Excuse me, first you jerk Carrie around
for two years and then marry that waspy waif. As if she doesn't have enough troubles you pop into her life just when she's happy but she always takes you back. Gee, I wonder why me and all of my friends forgive any attractive man with puppy dog eyes...
Hank Moody. Ok, you're hot. No, you're sexy. But you're the eternal fuck up. We all keep hoping that one day you will get the point but you never do. You fuck someone else? Somehow we forgive you and that makes you even sexier and more lovable (and you keep profiting dollars).
Well, thank you to the world of entertainment. Because of these leading male characters that you've poisoned my brain with, now I have to pay a doctor $175 an hour to listen to why I choose the wrong men. You owe me a refund. And a good boyfriend for once.