Thursday, August 9, 2012

All I Really Want Is A Nice Guy...With Asshole Potential

All women fantasize about finding the man of their dreams someday.  And if you're single and living in Los Angeles you probably daydream about finding "the one" more so now than when you played dress up and pretended to be a bride when you were five just so you can split rent and stop having to primp for two hours before going to the grocery store for that bottle of Skinnygirl Cocktails (just in case you happen to run into Ryan Gosling).

They say nice guys finish last and there's a reason for that.  Nice guys are boring.  I said it.  It may be unpopular, but it's the truth.  But let's get real.   I'm close to 30 and the days of randomly running into a bad boy friend with benefits at the club and staying up with him having amazing sex until 7AM the next morning isn't going to be cute in a few years and it's not exactly ideal for a potential mate.  So what do I want?  I'm going to Hannah Montana that shit.  I want the best of both worlds.  I want a nice guy with asshole potential.

What is that?  It's the guy that has a really good heart that cares about you and sends you a text in the middle of the day just to say he's thinking about you...and then does something really douchey.  Something douchey enough for you to give him the silent treatment for a day or two.  Something ridiculous that he certainly knows better than to do, but did it anyway.  Mind you, this is nothing major like cheating or stealing from you.  The asshole potential isn't a deal breaker, it's a benefit. You get the nice guy and the excitement and the passion.  Besides, have you ever had sex better than make up sex?  I hear that engagement sex is also pretty great but as you can see I'm pretty far off from being able to tell you about that one first hand.

So, how does one find a nice guy with asshole potential? First off, they do have to be a genuinely nice person.  This is the tricky part.  Mostly we just meet assholes and we think that they are nice guys with asshole potential, but they are not.  They are just assholes.  You have to vet the guy and make sure you're dealing with someone that is sincere and sweet at the core.  After that step you're pretty golden. They're men so the asshole potential has been embedded in their DNA since the Y chromosome came into play.

Maybe I'm weird but I don't want to be with someone that I can walk all over or that is too nice to challenge me.  Hell, even call me a bitch and make me pay for it in the bedroom every once and a while.  I'll take that over submissive anytime.  But, I need to feel that pull towards him.  I need to feel like I'm with the bad boy every once and awhile to keep me on my toes and keep me satisfied.  You can't ask a leopard to change its spots and I can't change the type of men I like (believe me I wish I could).  So for me, a nice guy with asshole potential is the perfect hodgepodge.  And, I just got to use the word hodgepodge!  PS if there are any nice guys with asshole potential out there, you know how to find me!

4 comments:

  1. I'm a guy and I totally get what you're saying! I want a girl who is as hot as a model, but also really really smart, but not too smart. She has to be a lady but also a freak, but only some of the time. She has to be really wild when I want her to be (but only then) but also has to immediately become a good mother to my children when the time comes. I feel like we're on the same page here! It's a perfect hodgepodge and I'm going to hold every woman I meet to this standard!!

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    1. I like this! Can I go out with "Anonymous"? :))

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  2. i love this post! i agree that a little bit of bitch and a little bit of asshole goes a long way. It keeps a relationship interesting. if you only have one of the two, then someone ends up getting steam rolled or becoming a total push over. a friend of mine always used to say that a Type A person has to be with a Type B, but I think two type A's = way better make up sex.

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