Tuesday, August 14, 2012

the spark igniter & the BLOW OFF

The worst thing about enduring a break up is the period of time I like to call "the break up coma." This is when you finally manage to get yourself back out into the dating world, but no one you meet seems to give you the same butterflies you got when you were dating your ex. Weeks go by. Months. Even years. And you start to wonder...will you ever meet someone that you'll have that kind of connection with again?

And then finally: you do. Everything starts out amazing. You begin to think that this is why things didn't work out with the ex, because this new person is who you were really supposed to end up with. It's fun and exciting and passionate. They are as into you as you are into them. There's banter and flirting and everything feels right until...

they dump you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! They were supposed to the be the last person you dated. They were supposed to turn into your final long term relationship. They were supposed to meet your parents and all your friends. They were supposed to invite you home for the holidays. They were never supposed to just be another shitty rebound. Well, they're not a rebound. Rebounds are people we don't really like.  Instead, this person is what I like to call "a spark igniter."

A spark igniter is that person that briefly comes into your life to relieve you of the anxiety that your ex was the end all, be all. Because of them you are reminded that there are still people out in the world  you can go ga-ga for. They're kind of a tease, but they do help you get over your ex...because suddenly when you go to bed at night listening to "I Can't Make You Love Me" on repeat, instead of thinking about your ex, your now getting all depressed over your spark igniter.

I'm not sure why things with a spark igniter never seem to work out. Maybe it's because if the two of you pro-created, your kids would grow up to bring a gun to their high school one day and kill all their classmates (yes, this is what I liked to tell myself when things didn't pan out with a guy I liked). But what the spark igniter does do is provide a little hope that there are other people in the world that will make you feel like everything is falling into place. Their job is to ignite the spark, but they're just not the ones that are supposed to keep it burning.


  1. Brilliant! Love the term! And so very true!

  2. This is genius. I needed this.

  3. This is a great post -- and so true!

  4. Yesss. I want my 20s to be a series of 10-20 consecutive spark igniters.