Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Did Your Ex-Girlfriend Really Just Say That To Me?

You know how people say that you don't appreciate the way things were until they change? Personally, I feel like I'm very good at taking in moments and being acutely aware of situations that are going well. It's probably because I feel like the other shoe will inevitably drop and when I'm curled up in the fetal position drinking vodka straight out of the bottle and listening to Taylor Swift songs on a loop, I want to try to remember that I was once happy and can hopefully convince myself that I will be happy again one day.

You'd think that because of my hypersensitivity to embracing the present that I would be more at peace when things go awry. Well, you'd be wrong. In my years of dating I've successfully managed to avoid any interactions with my date's ex-girlfriends...that is until this past weekend. So here's the Cliff's Notes for the back story. I met a cute guy, we ended up going out for drinks the following evening. Things were going well...he wasn't super thrilled about my job, but given that my profession sometimes negatively affects his profession I was prepared for that. I didn't want to lie and have it become an issue later so I came clean. I mean if I actually ended up in a relationship with this person I'd have to eventually tell the truth and then I would have carried on the lie for a lot longer. Since I was having fun with him I just decided to bite the bullet. It wasn't met with great reception but it wasn't something that couldn't be recovered from. Since I was honest, he decided to be as well and told me about his most recent break up. Now when I say most recent, I mean recent. I mean like a week ago.

Another sidebar, but I feel like people should have to disclose if they literally just got out of a relationship. It's not fair to find out when you're already on the date and it's too late to do anything about it. I'm not up for the whole rebound thing and even if they were to claim it wasn't a rebound situation they would be lying and are definitely not over the other person yet, regardless of who broke up with whom.

So again we're off to a rocky start but at least it is all out there. Please excuse the diatribe but it does have relevance to the rest of the story. He was really cute and seemed really nice and was honest so I was up for seeing where things could possibly go. So we decide to head out and who do we run into leaving the bar but the ex-girlfriend. Yes, the most recent one. He introduced us and I decided to be overly friendly and overcompensate for the fact that I felt super awkward. Well, she clearly didn't have any qualms about how she came off. She immediately started interrogating us. How did you meet? What mutual friend introduced you? Are you working together? And just berated us with questions. I was trying to be a good sport and mostly just stood there and let him do the talking. And then, this girl has the nerve to turn to me and ask me if I am a porn star. Excuse me? First of all I was wearing a Gucci sweater, cut-offs, and heels. I wasn't dressed like Courtney Stodden for Christ's sake. And porn star? That's what she came up with? That doesn't even make sense. She could've at least had the wherewithal to ask if I was an escort. She wouldn't have looked quite as stupid then. Since none of you know what I look like, you will just have to trust me that I pretty much look the opposite of a porn star.

The blood was bubbling up underneath my skin and through my clenched jaw I told my date that I was going to be outside smoking a cigarette and I excused myself. This is a huge personal victory for me. I am no stranger to vicious rhetoric and when I fight, I fight dirty and I hit below the belt. I usually would've torn this girl to shreds or knocked the bitch out, but I figured that she was so crazy she wasn't worth it.

I realize this was her reacting to seeing her ex with another girl, but please, are you fucking kidding me? I get she was upset/jealous/hurt/fragile/any combination of these...but girls really need to stop tearing other girls down. First off, she just looked like she was psychotic, which she clearly was, but she could've pretended like she was cool and maybe he would've reconsidered their relationship.

After that the rest of the evening was obviously awkward. He apologized for her, but I was already emotionally drained by that time and this isn't even my drama. Between the job scenario and the former flame outburst, I highly doubt I'll be hearing from this guy again. Have any of you ever been in the situation where you encounter your date or new S.O.'s ex? If so, was it friendly?

And PS, if a Gucci sweater and cut-offs makes me look like a porn star, I don't want to be mainstream.



1 comment:

  1. this is a crazy story! First of all, i can't believe you actually ran into the ex on the same date that he told you about her. I also can't believe he's already going out on dates seven days after a break up! Probs because his ex was obviously a total psycho and he needed to remind himself as quickly as possible that there are cool girls out there. she made herself look like a desperate petty idiot with the porn star comment. she should have just played it cool.