Monday, September 24, 2012

the family picture BLOW OFF

How do you guys feel about photo-ops with your significant other when it comes to an event like a wedding or a family reunion? I've always been a little iffy with this stuff-- I mean, who wants to look at a picture from your best friend's wedding and see THAT GUY that broke your heart three months later, frozen in time with his arm draped around you? Not me.

When the H bomb and I had been dating for about a year and a half, my sister got married. He was my date to the wedding obvi, but when it came to taking the group photo with all of our aunts, uncles, and cousins, I didn't go out of my way to have him in the shot. Even though I knew in my heart of hearts that we were going to end up together-- I almost didn't want to jinx it. So, he's not in the picture. But my cousin's ex-boyfriend is.

My uncle started this family tradition twenty-five years ago where he gets all of my cousins together for a weekend that usually involves making some sort of funny home video. I didn't bring the H-bomb the first time around, because again, what if it didn't work out and I was forever reminded by our break-up via home movie? I finally bit the bullet and brought him along two weeks before we got engaged.  But there are an array of exes in the videos we've made.  I took an even bigger risk a couple years prior when I made my parents an iMovie for their 35th wedding anniversary that had lots of pics of the H-bomb way before he popped the question. Even after my parents saw the video they told me that I better end up with him or else I'd have to take all the pictures out. 

Luckily, I did. Our wedding was last year and even now I can tell you there are several couples whose love is frozen in time in our photos-- who are sadly no longer together.

So, it's a risky thing taking a group photo with someone you're dating. When it's just the two of you in a photograph and things don't pan out, it's easy enough to delete all of the jpgs from your hard drive, but you can't necessarily ask your friends or family members to set fire to their wedding photographs. So, here's what I suggest if there's that part of you that wants to take a picture with the person you're dating, but doesn't want to have to look at it down the line if you end up hating them. Find a really, really, really tall person to stand in front of them for the pic. It's a win-win. You don't hurt their feelings by not including them, but when you look at the pictures years to come, you can just pretend they were never there.


  1. It's never late enough to know. After my first wife moved out, my sister reported to me that in every picture of the two of us in my dad's house, he had covered up her face with a Post-it note.

    1. that is hilarious and so true-- you can never really know or predict those things.

  2. Parenthood actually addressed this on an episode this new season. We usually take pictures of groups in a way that you have options - some with only immediate family members and then some with spouses or significant others involved.

  3. That episode of Parenthood totally inspired this post! Love that show.

  4. Totally self-indulgent comment but I make a small reference to this in a pilot I wrote about how it should have been a red flag that she wasn't allowed to be in her bf's family's holiday card photo. True, you don't want to have some random person years later in your family mementos but I feel like at a certain age if you're actually dating (note dating, not friends w/ benefits or hooking up, but monogamously dating) the person you should include them- and if you feel uneasy about doing so maybe it's a sign about your relationship.