Thursday, October 18, 2012

RIP: Emily & Jef (hahahahahaha)

Called it! I think we all saw the writing on the wall with this one, but it appears it did not work out between Backwoods West Virginia hood rat and Gay mormon Marty McFly that spells his name wrong. Their romance and engagement lasted a mere three months.

There were rumors for awhile that they were broken up and that Emily was caught sexting with football player Matt Liner. Who can really blame her. I'm pretty sure Mormons don't give it up and gay mormons FO SHO don't give it up.

This proves once again that Emily has terrible taste in men. I mean, she got engaged to the guy that rode in on a skateboard on the first day. The guy who looked like he could be her twelve year old brother. The guy with the flock of seagulls haircut. The guy who said stuff like "I want to date you so hard and marry the fuck out of you." the guy who wore shorts paired with knee socks. And why? Because he was white and because he was rich.

Bitch had it coming!

The real victim in this whole thing is of course, Little Ricki. She needs to go straight up fire-starter on Emily's ass. It's time for her to be like:

"Listen up, mama. If you drag me to one more shit-poor town to hang out with some creepy reality TV guy I don't even know, then I will rip your trashy highlighted extensions out of your head and sell them on E-bay. Then, I will drag your ass to my lawyer's office and have myself emancipated so that I can be adopted by Honey Boo Boo's family, cause they are smarter and cooler and come up with way better nicknames than 'little ricki.' Honey Boo Boo has a catch phrase and her own show and a shit ton of money? What do I have? A boring-ass mom who sexts with football players who knock up other women in their spare time. Boom!"

Then, when Emily starts crying, Little Ricki will kick her in the butt repeatedly and scream "you should have picked Arie!!!!"

In other news, Arie is now dating Courtney the model... So Emily's next move is to either pay a visit to Ben F in Sonoma or make a surprise appearance on The Bachelor with Little Ricki to beg for Sean to take her back.


  1. Spoiler Alert!
    The show is only starting in Norway and those people are already separated.
    But she is supposed to look for a husband not a 3-months boytoy!!!
    And that is why it only last for 3 years in France (and never exist in Norway), too much cheesy and fake for french and norwegian people.

  2. no way! Sorry to ruin it for you, but it really is the worst show!