Monday, October 22, 2012

the "I called dibs" BLOW OFF

Remember back in high school where you held a torch for someone for four years without ever doing anything about it-- but all your friends knew that guy or girl was the person YOU had a crush on and they were totally off limits?  The minute you told all your besties that you had your eye on *INSERT NAME* that person was marked and no one else could go after them.  And if they did, they were a terrible-awful person.


Well, guys.  That was HIGH SCHOOL. As far as I'm concerned once you're above the age of 25 you can no longer call dibs on a person.  We all know it's hard enough to find someone you're compatible with-- so if you like a guy and he doesn't like you, but he likes your friend and she likes him too-- then you kind of need to step aside.  I know it sucks and you have every right to feel sad and hug your pillow, but you're not allowed to stop those two people from being together.  You can vent to your friend to get things off your chest and privately seethe, but you it's not really fair to make them feel shitty about it.  

I mean, if you think about it-- your friend is kind of doing you a favor.  How much more would it suck to continue to pine after someone that's not into you-- only to have them run off and make some complete stranger happy.  At least if you can't be with them, then why not have them make someone you care about happy?   I know this is all easier said than done, but I guess what I'm saying is we're all adults now.  You can't call dibs.  There are no dibs.  And you can't make two people feel like they're awful just because they're into each other.  That kind of drama would fly sophomore year in high school, but not anymore.  So, try to get over it.  There will be someone else for you.  And don't end a friendship over it.  Cause then you've lost a crush that wasn't even into you AND a friend.  

I know this might be a controversial opinion, but if you disagree that's what the comments section is for!





7 comments:

  1. I had a friend who would just literally get a crush on every new guy we ever met so she had "dibs" on every male in my life. Eventually I was like: "HELL NO, GIVE ME ONE". We were like 16. Now I would just tell her "he likes me, get over it" :)

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  2. I totally agree on all of this. No dibs.

    But what do you think about of trying to outshine a friend who is talking to a guy? If one of my friends is interested in a guy she is chatting up at a bar, I lay low. I will chat w/them, but not flirt etc. If he he is more curious about me, fine I'll chat with him more. I have a friend who literally interjects and it's like a competition for her. Fair game or bad form?

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  3. That, I think is bad form. You don't need to go out of your way to make the guy like you or make things into a competition. I definitely know people who do this and i think they are generally attention whores and can't stand to have any guy not want to pay the most attention to them.

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  4. Thanks for the reply Saara. I have been reading your blog and you are Hilarious! Yes this friend does this even when she has a boyfriend so it's very much an attention thing. Now just gotta figure out if avoid those outings with her or say something. I tend to favor the former...

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    1. Aww! Thanks for reading! Your friend sounds annoying. But you've totally inspired me to write a blow off post about girls that are like this! Thanks!

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    2. Yes please do, would love it!

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  5. There is a solution for all these! Just hang out with married people; drama free :D

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