Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Third Time's A Charm: Does The Backslide Ever Work Out?

I've never been a big believer in that whole "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it," saying.  I think it's bullshit.  Just because the wish's reality might not be what we imagined it to be, I'd still rather have that and realize it isn't what I want than always wonder what my life would have been like if I had it.

So be honest, have you ever had a break-up and thought to yourself...all I want is for us to get back together?  I had this situation recently and I honestly thought about the person every single day.  While it's a little bit pathetic, everyday I would wonder if today would be the day that I would hear from him.  I felt this connection and wasn't willing to let it go, even though I had moved on and been on dates with other guys.

But of course, the one time I'm not expecting any contact, I run into him.  I felt like Teresa Guidice at the most recent Posche fashion show and my heart was beating out of my chest and my body was shaking.  I was not prepared to talk to him nevertheless see him and was completely blindsided.  But I got to hear everything I've wanted to hear for months.  "I miss you."  "I want to see you again."  All of those things that happen in the third act of almost every movie, especially ones that star Katherine Heigl.

But, if we do date again, this will be our third go-round.  The first time I had ended things, and he the second.  Is it worth it to give it a third shot?  Doesn't history dictate that this will not end well?  Or, is there a reason that we were both at the same place that one night...a place that I hadn't been to in four months and a place he had only been two times, the night that we met and this particular night in question.  Am I fooling myself into thinking that it could possibly work out this time?

Has the backslide ever worked out for any of you?  My gut is telling me to give it a whirl and that I have nothing to lose...I'd say except for my sanity.  And lets be honest that ship has already sailed.


  1. all lightnin’ and wind and rain... get too close and you’re swept away.

  2. I married my backslide! My husband and I broke up twice, but the second time I knew we were meant to be (cheesy, I know) and I held out until he came crawling back. So, it can work!

  3. I think in some cases there really is a reason that we can't get certain people out of our heads and that if you are both on the same page, you don't have that much to lose by giving it another shot. And now the playing field is even since you both ended the relationship at different times. I've known more than a few people that have married their backslides!

  4. I think it totally depends on the reasons that you broke up! If the reasons are still valid, then I don't see how it would be different. If some of the reasons had changed, then why not :)

  5. All great advice. Thanks everyone! I hope that it works out for me as well as it worked out for some of you (or people you know). And if not at least I'll never wonder "what if".

  6. I'm currently going through a break up (3 months in) and I ended things but haven't been able to get him off my mind either. I made a list of happily married people I know, the majority of them broke up at least once before they got married. Can't wait to hear how it pans out!