Monday, November 12, 2012

The Girls Guide To Dating In Hollywood Part 2: The Writer

Welcome back to Part Two of The Girl's Guide To Dating In Hollywood.  While most people think that actors are the power players in Hollywood, they would have no "You had me at hello", "I wish I could quit you", or "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" lines to say without writers.  But there are different types of writers, so check out my breakdown before you start fantasizing that your life with a writer beau will be just like a Nicholas Sparks novel.

The Aspiring Writer
-They can usually be found working on their projects at any Starbucks or Coffee Bean in the LA area
-They talk about their screenplays incessantly and can segue almost any conversation back to their screenplay
-Everything, everyone, and anything is an idea for their next script
-As hard as it is to make it as an actor, it's ten times more difficult to make it as a writer so...

The TV Writer
-Cha Ching!  I ain't saying you a gold digger, but these guys ain't brokey broke.  TV writers make bank (for the most part).  And if the show they write for is in syndication, they make tons of residuals.
-Their schedule is good for having a family.  While they can spend late nights and early mornings in the writer's room, they have a few months off during their hiatus and can spend some good quality time with the fam, or work on another project to profit a few more dollars.
-They are collaborative which translates well for romantic relationships.

The Film (Features) Writer
-They have amazing focus as they are working on the same project for sometimes years at a time.  That also means that they are able to commit to that one story which can bode well for their commitment in a relationship as well.
-They can get lost in the very world that they have created since they don't have a time limit (unless under a deadline).
-Some people write really dark, fucked up, twisted movies.  So ask them what kind of scripts they write to make sure that you aren't dating a bona fide psychopath before you get involved.

All Writers
-They test out their material on you.
-Never share a computer with them because they will always be on it and you will never be able to open a program other than Final Draft (screenwriting software).
-Just like with song writers, if you screw them over, you can become a not-so-likeable character in one of their projects (e.g. Linda Cardellini was the basis for Sarah Marshall in Forgetting Sarah Marshall after she broke Jason Segel's heart.  He's way better off with Michelle Williams though, don't you think?  I bet you probably had to Google Linda to even see who she is).
-They are generally introverted and/or socially awkward (myself included).
-They rock the geek chic.  If you want to date a writer, I hope you're into thick plastic black rimmed glasses and plaid shirts.
-They are good with expressing their feelings on paper through other characters but sometimes they have trouble communicating in real life.
-They can get majorly screwed over e.g. shows being canceled, projects being in "development hell", so they need partners that are patient and supportive.  So don't date a writer if you want to be with someone for fame or notoriety. 

All of that being said, there would be no Hollywood without writers.  If you're looking for an extremely creative person that can unlock your imagination and turn on the right side of your brain, look no further than writers.


  1. LOVE this post! I'm grateful to be married to a research guy and not another writer. I think men tend to be very condescending with their partners when it comes to creative/artsy stuff and I would probably punch my sig other in the face if he rolled his eyes at something i wrote.

  2. i'm a tv writer (cha-ching!) of the just-screwed-over variety (cha...oh.) and just wanted to say that this is all a million percent true, and totally loved reading it.
    oh, also, i'm female. but it holds true for dating us, too. this should be required reading for our prospective partners.

    1. Glad you liked it! And jealous you have my dream job...even if you got screwed over :)