Wednesday, November 14, 2012

the inbetweener BLOW OFF

I was talking to an old guy friend about his current dating situation recently and he said he's feeling too busy for a relationship.  And plus, the only girls he's meeting our in-between girls.  Allow me to explain.  I think you will find this a bit revelatory (in a bad way).

With his work life being so hectic, he's at a point where he doesn't want to date anyone unless he think there's major-get-married-love-forever potential.  He went out on a date with someone he thought was great, but he didn't ask her out again because she was an in-betweener-- too cool to just hook up with and never call again, but not cool enough to spend the rest of his life with.   It got me thinking, maybe this train of thought is causing a major dating epidemic.

In some ways, I totally get it.  As we get older, we know what we want and we don't want to waste our time or anyone else's.  Why continue to date someone if you're pretty sure you'll have to end it three months later? BUT is it also fair to say that we all have this unrealistic vision of who we want to end up with in life?   That maybe, we'd be incredibly happy with one of these "in-between" peeps, but we don't bother really giving them a chance?

I can sympathize with an in-between girl.   I was one of them for a long time.  Guys were drawn to my effervescent witty personality (note: I'm being facetious) but I was in the "cute" category and maybe they were still holding out for the cool hot girl.  I mean, I didn't know how to accessorize or find outfits at the flea market.  I still don't.   I didn't sing or play guitar.  I still can't.  And I wasn't Asian or blonde or tall.  I'm still not.  Sure, being a "writer" could be deemed a cool thing, but back when I was dating, the only thing I got paid to write was expense reports for my boss. 

So, what's an in-between girl to do?  Maybe stop rejecting her own in-between guys.  Or do the whole "tell me about it, stud" Olivia Newton John make over at the end of Grease.  Or learn to shop at flea markets, accessorize, play guitar, sing, become Asian, tall, and/or blonde, and side note: love basketball.  Yes, folks.  I think we have found a solution! 


  1. You have now put me in a perpetual state of anxiety that I will always be the in-between girl.

  2. Same as 20LA Wannabe, I am pretty sure I am the in-between girl! And now I am afraid I will stay the in-between girl for ever.

  3. I concur. I don't want to be the in-betweener forever. When can we have a follow up post...How NOT to be the in-betweener girl?!? This would be a great tutorial and lesson for many.

  4. No! Don't feel that way guys! I think the truth is, if there are three different types: the girl you just hook up with, the in-betweener, and the long term potential girl-- then we've all been those types depending on the guy we're dating. One person's in between girl could be another person's long term potential girl or one night hook up. sadly, i think i'd rather be the one night girl than the in-between girl!