Tuesday, November 13, 2012

the scandalous military BLOW OFF

Have you guys been following this General Petraeus scandal at all?  Strange that it all broke right before Veteran's day of all holidays.  It's kind of a painful reminder of how vulnerable the male ego is.  And how women have major hero-worship issues. 

Here's the story in a nutshell.  A woman named Jill Kelley who is apparently a family-friend of the Petraeus's was getting threatening emails from an anonymous source telling her to stay away from the General.  She contacted the FBI and their investigation led them to Paula Broadwell-- the author of Gen. Petraeus's recent autobiography: ALL IN.  They discovered a bunch of salacious and x-rated emails between Paula and Petraeus which revealed the two were having an extra-marital affair.  General Petraeus resigned as the head of the CIA, because of the affair.

Petraeus is 60 years old.  Paula is 40 years old.  Paula is on the attractive side.  Petraeus's wife (and here's where I hate myself) is a dead ringer for Mrs. Claus.  I mean, ugh, she seems like a really nice lady and it SUCKS that there is that part of our brain that goes "okay, it kind of makes sense..."  I know, I know, it's awful-- but do you guys ever have that kind of reaction?  Before you think I'm being sexist-- here's where it doesn't make sense.  Paula's husband is forty-three and totes adorable.  Way cuter than the General.  Obviously, not nearly as powerful, I'll give Petraeus that...but Scott Broadwell is classically handsome and he's a doctor.

Either way, this whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.  Petraeus and his wife Holly Knowlton were married for thirty-seven years.  Paula Broadwell is the mother of two.  She started writing a dissertation on Petraeus that she decided to turn into a book and he was weirdly forthcoming about letting her into the fold to write it (which, whatever, she didn't even write by herself!)  Holly didn't stand a chance.  Here's a woman that's known David for more than half his life.  There's probably not a whole lot of allure or mystery left, even if the guy was the head of the CIA and a military genius.  And then some chick comes around saying she wants to hang out with him 24/7 in Afghanistan, so she can write a book about him.  Boner City!  A hot woman basically wants to know everything about you, because she thinks you're so fascinating, she wants to devote an entire book to you.  No wife can compete with that.  And apparently, the biography is a total lovefest about how wonderful he is.

What I don't understand about all of this is why the affair meant Petraeus had to resign from his job.  Is there really some conspiracy and it has to do with Benghazi?  Or did the FBI find classified information on Paula's computer?   Don't get me wrong.  People that affairs suck buttholes, but do they really have to leave their jobs because of it?

Anyway, if I were Holly, I'd follow Jenny Sanford's lead and write a book about all this.  After all, there's no better revenge than out-selling your husband's biography written by his psycho-floozy!


  1. I totally agree with everything! It's actually kinda interesting that Paula Broadwell is so attractive. I mean, think Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper. Or remember the nanny that Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with? Whenever a public figure has an affair there's always some segment on The Today Show about how the affair was about feeling needed and not about what the other person looks like. So I guess that General Petraeus struck gold with Paula being a hottie.

    In terms of him resigning I also agree. This guy has over 30 years of military service under his belt and was damn good at his job. Unless he did give her information that he wasn't supposed to I think it's bullshit that he was resigned...or was forced to resign I'm assuming. The only "devils advocate" scenario that I can possibly come up with (even though I don't agree with it) is that because he exercised poor judgement in his personal life, his judgement for his job can no longer be trusted.

    Also not to sound too hippy and LA but maybe his wife knew what was going on or they had some kind of open relationship or deal and that their marriage was for security and companionship.

    PS If Paula and Scott Broadwell get divorced, I call dibs!

  2. Also I forgot to add...I am not 100% sure if this was confirmed or not but apparently Jill Kelley was also one of General Petraeus's mistresses (not just a family friend) and that's why Paula Broadwell was sending her the harassing emails.

  3. I've totally hijacked this comment section but I was mistaken and apparently Jill Kelley was actually involved with General Allen. Truth is always better than fiction :)

  4. omg, this story just gets weirder and weirder! I just read that he and paula broadwell used drop box to communicate to each other instead of email. WTF. I'm so behind the times. and jill kelley is stupid for contacting the FBI if she was having an affair too! it's just sad that there's a lowest common denominator with so many men, even ones that are accomplished in life. maybe scott and holly will hook up now.

  5. it's a file sharing program! So, instead of sending emails, they could write a letter, and put it in drop box for the other person to read. apparently, all the teens pass notes like that these days!

  6. jesus! stuff like this makes me so afraid that i will (hopefully) be raising kids in an iphone/ipad/dropbox internet world.