Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Threesome Text

Honey Boo Boo may have said it best, "Everybody's a little gay." But I wasn't sure just how right she was until a recent Friday night.  I happened to have a rare Friday evening off work and I shocked myself by actually going out to a club.  There I am, downing as many free vodka sodas as I can ingest and dancing on a banquette.  You know, normal.  I realized that it had been awhile since I'd checked my phone and as the best texts always come after 1am on a Friday/Saturday it was time to take a look.  I did indeed have a text message from a number that wasn't in my contacts.  I opened it up and I couldn't have ever imagined what it said.  It just read "threesome?"

So here are the initial thoughts that ran through my head.  While you'd think that I might have been angry that someone had the audacity to send that text message, my first question was who the fuck is this?  So, I asked.  I got a response almost immediately that it was a girl that I know very peripherally.  First of all...a GIRL!?!  I was blindsided by that one.  I would have bet my life on the fact that my unknown texter was a man.  That's probably why I stay away from Vegas.  Not only was it a girl but it was a really random girl.  We have a semi-mutual friend and we had met at a party once and then run into each other on a few occasions around town.  We always said hello and made conversation for a few minutes but aside from being friends on Facebook I wouldn't actually consider us friends.  We had exchanged numbers on one of those occasions because we realized that we only lived a few blocks from each other and we had said we should meet up for happy hour since there was a great bar in walking distance from us both.  But I kept thinking to myself, this is weird, right?  Do people really do this?  Send out these kind of text messages... Am I putting out some kind of vibe where people think that it's appropriate to ask me to have a threesome via my mobile device?

The conversation continued.  I had no idea that she was into women.  How would I, I barely know her.  But I did realize that it must take a lot to put yourself out to another girl so I wanted to stay away from replying with any words like "freak" or telling her that I'm not a lesbian.  I tried to laugh it off.  "Oh, haha...I thought I had your number in my phone," I replied.  She proceeded to tell me that she got a new phone and then asked me if I was drunk and then again inquired what I thought of the threesome.  There were also some other racy things said on her end and I'm not a prude but this is The Blowoff, not RedTube so I'm going to keep them to myself.

I used the oldest trick in the book.  I told her that I had a headache and I was going to go home to sleep it off.  It really was true.  The vodka sodas and lack of water had given me a headache and I thought it would be a delicate way to diffuse the situation.  "Should we rain check," she then asked.  I didn't respond and she proceeded to ask me if I knew previously that she was into girls and if I had ever been with a girl and if it it turned me on.  Something felt strange.  OK, can this actuallybe the girl that this person is claiming to be?  I had another number for her in my phone with an out-of-state area code so this has to be someone fucking with me.  I texted the number that I'd had for her and asked if it was still her number and I got no response (still to this day).  So maybe it was her.  And if it wasn't her, and in fact it was someone fucking with me, they must have just gone on Facebook and found the most random one of my friends to use as an alias.  I wasn't sure which was more plausible so I called my texter out and said that I wasn't sure that they were who they were saying they were.  They insisted they were her, but told me that they understood and that I should be flattered that she finds me attractive etc. and that was the end of it.

That entire exchange was bizarre.  Who was I talking to?  I didn't want to blow up her spot (if it was her) so I didn't say anything about this to our mutual friend because again, if it actually was her and she put herself out there I didn't want to be disrespectful and gossiping since I'm sure it takes courage to be that forward.  And she's free to sleep with whomever she wants.  After our text conversation ended, I actually thought about it for a minute.  I'm turning 30 in 2013.  If I was going to ever have a threesome it has to be before I'm 30.  I don't think that the whole "experimenting"mentality works as well once you hit the big three-oh.  Am I a threesome person?  I've never been with a girl before.  I'd never thought about it but is that something to try?  It seems like lots of people have threesomes now and it's the norm to have been a part of one at least once.  Am I missing out?  If she is the person she identified herself as she is very pretty and I could do a lot worse if I was going to have a threesome.  But what if I liked it?  Or what if I hated it?

So readers I want to hear...have any of you ever thought about or taken part in a threesome?  Girls, have you ever gotten it on with a girl friend or a girl you know?  Comment below on that or your general thoughts on this entire situation.
XO,
Wannabe

1 comment:

  1. i say go for it! i've never had a threesome and now that i'm married i never will, so why not? Especially if you are the third party, I would NEVER do it if I was part of a couple. I'm way too jealous for that shit.

    ReplyDelete