Monday, March 4, 2013

how pervy is too pervy?

I'm not sure if anyone's done a study, but it feels like with all the readily available porn on the internet, dudes must be more pervy than say, thirty years ago? Or maybe they're just less imaginative.  And maybe with the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more willing to go perv or maybe they're just more into the idea of being dominated.   Who knows.  I'm too lazy to Google any of this and make any serious assessments, so I'm going to take it upon myself to create my own Perv scale.

1 = super prude.  We're talking no sexual fantasies.  Never watched porn.  Waiting till marriage to have sex, and even then will only do missionary with the lights off.

5= Good balance of pervy/sexually adventurous.  Had threesomes, sex in strange places, healthy porn watching habits, and doesn't blush while talking dirty.

10= enjoys having sex with animals.

When it comes to the perv scale, I'm probably a four.  Before you call me a total prude, let's remember that I'm measuring on a scale where ten equals beastiality.  I'm not crazy conservative, I'm open to trying new things, but a lot of those things most people did in college, I never did (i.e. threesome or the ever popular lesbian phase).  Keep in mind, even though my parents were not your typical Iranian mom and dad, I did grow up in a Middle-Eastern family.   Iranians aren't exactly known for being sexually liberal.  We don't talk about sex very often and we are very modest when it comes to things like nudity.  I came into this with a handicap.

That's why it was important for me to end up with someone a little higher on the perv scale than me.  Someone that could show me the ways of the samurai.  Unfortunately, I did not end up with that someone.  HAHAHAHAHA, totally kidding.  Just wanted to play a little joke on my husband in case he's reading this.  I did end up with that someone.  And I don't think I would have been swept away by a guy that had less sexual experience than me.  Being with someone that could take charge was a turn on. 

But I did at one time date a guy that was more of a nine on the perv scale and it still gives me the willies thinking about it.  He was a little bit scary intense in the bedroom and he told me that one time he went into a video chat room and shaved his chest on camera.  WTF?  That's some Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill shit right there.  I think I would have rather he told me he jerked off on camera VS shaving his chest.  I mean, I know I'm a four on the scale, but that's kind of creepy, right?  I wish I could say I broke up with him right then and there, but as odd as it was, it apparently wasn't a deal breaker.

So where do you guys stand on the pervert scale?  And where on the scale do you want your significant other to be?  Comment below!

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