Thursday, March 21, 2013

the "getting strung along" BLOW OFF

Editor's Note: I love this anonymous guest post that was emailed to us a couple weeks ago.  Read all the way till the end for the great third act twist!  If you are looking for a little catharsis, send us your break up story!

I went to a function with some new friends, so there were several people I had never met, one of them being one of my friend's brother. We were introduced and I honestly thought nothing of him. I don't know if it was because I was flustered because I was running late and wasn't ready or if it was because I wasn't really looking (I was in the process of trying to get back together with an ex) but I don't remember even thinking he was cute. BUT he was completely my type. Within half an hour of meeting him he's hitting on me. Silly stuff, but laying it on pretty thick. Not in a corny way, just in a silly way. Unfortunately I'm a sucker for a good sense of humor so after a FULL day of him hitting on me, I give in and we play a little kissy face, totally innocent. We wake up the next morning and part ways, he jokingly asks if I want to catch a matinee but never asks for my number or anything. So life goes on...

A week and a half later
One of our mutual friends sends a group text that we were both on asking if we were available for dinner for her bday. I already had plans so I text back to have fun, sorry I was going to miss it, happy birthday. Later that night I get a text and I knew exactly who it was, let's call him Andres. So we start texting. We literally text all day, morning to night, everyday. He even breaks his phone so proceeds to Facebook message me all day. At this point I'm out of town on business, so we don't make any plans to meet up, but will both be going to the same Christmas party once I get back into town. We see each other and are basically inseparable. Never went more than 2 nights without spending the night together, talking and texting all the time. He invites me to spend NYE with him and his friends, the whole nine yards.

We have conversations about relationships, what we're looking for for our future - all conversations provoked by him. He tells me he likes having a girlfriend, is looking for something serious, wants to settle down, basically everything every girl who's looking to settle down wants to hear. We get along really well, have tons of fun together and great chemistry.  CUT TO:

One Month Later
We go to a daytime event on a Saturday with a lot of people we know, hang out all day and then I have plans to go to a concert, so we part ways. Nothing weird or unusual happens, the whole day was great. So on Monday I get a text saying: "First off...I'd rather talk about this in person...but before you hear stuff through the grapevine...People have asked me about me and you...And I have said ya we are hanging out and talking and what not...I have also just said idk what is going on because I'm not sure of everything...I have a lot of stuff going on still (which most don't know about) and my mind is just everywhere...I don't want you to think I said I don't like you or anything like that....It is just more of I'm not sure what I want right now as it is hard for me to focus....I really didn't wanna text this but just in case you hear something before we see each maybe we can see each other tonight or sometime soon? I hope this didn't come off bad over text." So I'm totally caught off guard and like....what just happened? I knew about the "stuff" going on but kind of thought the worst was behind him, so didn't really think it was an issue. So, we talk and he's like, I just don't think it's fair to you if I'm not 110% in this, blah, blah, blah. So I tell him I'm going to give him space and he can figure out what he wants.

Except for ONE day, I heard from him every single day for the next week. By the end of the week he was telling me he missed me and to come back into town (I got the fuck out of dodge and visited a friend for the weekend once this all went down). So we talk again the following Monday and we were both like, that week "off" was stupid, all we did was miss each other so let's just keep doing what we were doing.

Two weeks later
All of a sudden he's acting super distant again.  I call him out on it and he's like, nothing to do with you, sorry I've just been unhappy.  I see him, everything is fine. We spend a Sunday together, everything is not fine. He was just not acting like himself at all.  So, by Tuesday I'm like, we need to talk. He's like, about what? I just say, some stuff that's been on my mind. And then I get this text: "I don't want to do this over text but I also don't really want to talk about it right now...I am just honestly not ready for any of this...It really isn't fair to you...If anything the most I can do right now is friends...I am just not ready for anything...And I know you said before you felt that I didn't have too much on my plate...But I feel I do and I just can't do what we have been doing right now...I think you're an awesome person and I could see myself with you but I just can't commit right now." So I text back and say this is what I want to talk to him about but not over text.  He says he can't talk tonight.  I say I feel there's more of a conversation to have, but that I'm not going to try to convince him to feel any other way. To which he replies.....NOTHING! I haven't heard from him ever since!

First off - I feel like Carrie but instead of a post it, it's a text.

Second of all - If you don't want to do this over text TWICE, then STOP doing this over a text!

And third of all - Can't a girl just get a little closure?! We're going to see each other at some point, I'm friends with your sister for crying out loud! There weren't any hard feelings, sometimes things just don't work out. So stop acting like a jerk and avoiding me!

So...the moral of the story is, maybe you shouldn't let yourself fall for someone 7 years younger than you.  Oh wait, did I forget to mention that? ;)

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