Thursday, May 9, 2013

a little somethin' somethin' & the BLOW OFF

Women are loyal creatures, almost to a fault.  Sometimes, even if we're dating someone (who's not officially our boyfriend) or if we have really strong feelings for a guy, we don't feel right hooking up with someone else.  It feels like cheating, even though it's not at ALL cheating.

Ladies: Stop the insanity.  Here's my advice: go get some!

When I was twenty-four, I was living in New York City and a guy I had dated in college back in California was planning to move out there.  We'd hooked up while I'd been home over the Christmas holidays, so I wrongly assumed that the hook up + his move meant we were going to give things a shot again once we lived in the same city.  It bears repeating that I was twenty-four.  This is the age where I should have been dating and making sweet sweet love with handsome strangers left and right.  Unless someone had looked into my eyes and told me they were my boyfriend and would love me forever, I should have been a mini-Samantha (for all you twenty-four year olds reading this, that's a reference to a character from an old show called Sex and the City.)

So...a couple weeks later, my OTHER hotter college fling came out for a visit to New York, and my roommate and I went out to meet up with him and his twin brother.  Other college fling had broken my heart several times but our chemistry was always off the hizzy and I'd had enough distance from the situation that it didn't really matter.  Did I mention he was also a great dancer and that's like my Achilles's heel when it comes to boys?  After a fun night of dancing, him and his brother came back to our apartment to crash there.  We slept in my bed together and he wanted to hook up, but I denied him.   He assumed it was because I was still bitter over our tumultuous past, but it was even worse than that.  I passed up a hot night with him because of California boy.  That guy did end up moving to New York, but things fizzled on his end very quickly and I was given the "let's just be friends" speech. 

You might be thinking: but Saaara.  You're married now.  To a guy that's a really good dancer.  Why does any of this even matter anymore?  Technically, it doesn't.  But I believe in having as many experiences as possible before wedded bliss.  I didn't know at the time that I would meet my husband the following year and that twenty-four was my last year of living my life like a Rihanna song.  If I could get into a time machine, I'd tell my younger self to not let some guy she maybe has a shot with  to get in the way of a little somethin' somethin'. 


  1. Sara, I love the way you talk about your husband! You should write about how you guys met. Give us some hope for the other 24-year-olds out there on the strugglebus.

  2. thanks Carolyn! I always worry it might be annoying to mention him. here's an old post that talks a little bit about how we met (he was only my boyfriend at the time i wrote it.) xo