Monday, May 6, 2013

After the LDR, comes the BLOW OFF

Does this scenario sound familiar?  You and your BF have been in an LDR (Long Distance Relationship for anyone reading this that's over fifty) and now by some are actually going to live in the same city as each other.  Which means one of you has decided to change their ENTIRE life and move to be with the other person.  NO PRESSURE.

Surviving a long distance relationship makes you think all the stars are aligned and the two of you are meant to be together forever, but the post-LDR period in a relationship can be the most difficult to navigate. It can hit you pretty hard that what you were doing for the months or year(s) leading up to geographical proximity wasn't really a real relationship.  It was more like a romantic whirlwind of visits.  Your entire dating history together was a string of special occasions.  That goes out the window when you see each other everyday.  

The first year of my relationship with the H-bomb was long-distance.  I lived in LA, he lived in New York.  After a little less than a year of doing the LDR thing, he got a job in LA, gave up his awesome apartment in Williamsburg, quit his other really great job, said peace out to all his close friends and family, and moved to California.  He lived with me for six weeks before he found his own apartment and we lived happily ever after.  No, we didn't.  Those first few months of him living in California were really difficult.  Yes, we were thrilled to finally see each other all the time, but it wasn't easy for him to get acclimated to a new city when I was already acclimated.  From my experience, guys have a hard time handling a relationship when the rest of their life feels like it's in disarray.  He had a couple of college friends out here and they sort of adopted him into their group of dudes.  Which was great, but in the beginning he wanted to hang out with them ALL the time so he could feel like he had his own social circle separate from me.  It took us a little time to adjust, but eventually things worked out.

Sometimes I wonder if things would have worked out differently if I had been the one to move to New York to be with him instead.  Would we have still ended up together or would it have been a harder adjustment for both of us?  I think guys might be better at fitting themselves into someone's life VS trying to fit someone into their life.  Which would make sense, because they like to fit their penises into things.

Anyway, have you ever moved to be with someone?  Did it work out?  Comment below!

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