Tuesday, May 14, 2013

the don't shit where you eat BLOW OFF

The office romance.  It's convenient, it makes sense, it can't always be avoided...but holy shit, it's messy.  The work place is probably the most common way to meet someone once you're no longer in a school environment, but it's not always the best option.  I mean, not all of us can be as lucky as Pam and Jim on The Office.  In most cases, the work place hook up probably plays out more like Ryan and Kelly's Dunder Mifflin affair-- you know the type: where one person is super into it, while the other person just wants a company transfer to get as far away from their hook up as possible. 

The problem with the workplace romance is that if and when it doesn't pan out, you still have to see that person everyday.  And what's worse: you have to act professional.  Especially if the relationship was on the DL, you can't even talk to the rest of your colleagues about the break up or cry your eyes out to HR.  It's like you're forced to suffer in silence and still make sure you look really pretty everyday.  It blows.

The H bomb and I technically had an office romance.  We both worked for ABC when we got together (on a business trip) but he worked in the NY office and I worked in the LA office, so we didn't have to cross paths very often.  And when he did come out to LA on business, we were super awkward around each other at work.  I remember leaving the office and when another colleague noticed we were leaving together, he responded with: "uh, she's my ride."  SAY WHAT? 

Luckily, that office romance worked out, but I wasn't so lucky on a previous occasion.  I was still in college at the time and worked as a barista at a local cafe whenever I would go home on the weekends.  I started crushing on another barista and after months of secretly having feelings for him, we finally got together.  Long story short, just as we were on the brink of becoming a couple-- he went on tour with his band, met someone, never told me, and broke things off with me.  It was through a fellow barista that I found out about the other girl.  I was so hurt and embarrassed, I stopped working there to avoid him.  Which sucked because I had worked there long before he had.  Not only did he get a new GF, but he also got to keep his job.  Bastard.

I've heard endless accounts from friends and co-workers who've dated colleagues only to then be forced to avoid the commissary for months post break-up, because they could not deal with the thought of running into that person.  I guess that's what happens when you shit where you eat.  You have to start eating at your desk.  Alone.   So...have you ever hooked up with someone you worked with?  Was it a disaster or are you still making sweet love on your lunch break?  Comment below! 


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