Thursday, June 20, 2013

BLOW OFF Revenge: Review your ex on the internet

I really really wish there had been dating apps when I was single.  This shit is so much fun, guys.  One of our loyal readers just introduced me to this new app called Lulu and it's kind of amazing.  Basically, it's a way you can review men you've dated-- and/or-- see how the guy you're currently dating or crushing on has been reviewed (think Yelp for dating).  In some ways, it feels like a really creepy invasion of privacy BUT women have been objectified for centuries, so it's empowering to objectify dudes for once.

Even though I am happily married, I decided to download the app to see how it works.  It uses your Facebook account to access your contacts, but it's all totally anonymous.  The app posts nothing to Facebook, so if I've reviewed someone or checked out their profile, they will never know.  You can search for guys and read their reviews or you can fill out a quick survey about a guy you've dated.  The survey asks you a series of questions including how you know the guy (ex-boyfriend or just a hook up?), his sense of humor, how the first kiss made you feel, his tipping policy, his ambition and commitment level, and how hot he is. 

Then you pick a series of hashtags to describe the best and worst things about them.  Some of the good stuff includes #SweetToMom, #NerdyButILikeIt, #SmellsAmazeballs, and I kid you not: #PleaseF**kMeILoveYou.  And some of the not so great hashtags: #OwnsCrocs, #HeLovesMeNot, #MeanToMyDog.

I couldn't help myself, I had to review one of my old hook ups just to get a feel for how the app works.  Enough time has passed (um, like 9 years-- don't judge, I've been in my current relationship for 8 years) that I was probably nicer in my review than I would have been right after things fizzled out.  I only picked one of the negative hashtags (#PerfectForMySister).

From what I can tell, based on guys I'm friends with on Facebook that show up on Lulu, most of the dudes in their early to mid-twenties are the ones with reviews, which tells me this app is more hip with the young, single, twenty-something set.  I'm not sure there are many crazy 30somethings like myself who want to review people they made out with ten years ago.  But ladies, if a guy screwed you over way back in the day, then it's not too late to warn other women.  Download the app and write a review.


  1. So funny. I actually just discovered this app yesterday.Kinda have mixed feelings on it but I think that it's cool that it exists.

  2. omg. hilarious. cannot stop reviewing.

  3. Will admit: I reactivated my facebook so I could check this app out. Holy schnikes... I kind of feel sorry for the guys... in a very teeny tiny minuscule way. ;)