Tuesday, June 18, 2013

the "how did you meet" BLOW OFF

A couple weeks ago, we had two very different posts that touched on the whole "how did you meet" element of a relationship.  20 LA Wannabe gave us a rundown of the latest trends in dating apps and posed the question of whether apps had less (or more) stigma than meeting someone online.  We also had a pretty incredible guest post from one of our loyal readers who was admittedly having a difficult time ending things with a guy, partially because the story of how they met was so amazing (airport bar, she ran from her gate back to the bar to exchange info.)  Both these posts made me realize just how much importance we place on the meeting portion of a relationship.

At its worst, meeting someone online feels forced or unromantic or desperate.  At its best, meeting someone in an airport feels fated and epic and right out of a movie.

Sure, it's fun to trade stories of how you met your significant other, but I'm here to tell you that IT DOESN'T MATTER.  What matters is everything that happens after you meet. 

I've had several incredibly romantic meet-cutes with guys who...turned out to be terrible douche bags.  Or were just false starts to relationships that ended badly.  One that even directly included the presence of Francis Ford Coppola.  But that didn't go anywhere.

I could make the meet-cute with my husband sound super romantic.  We worked in NY together and barely even spoke, I moved to LA, but then as fate and destiny and serendipity would have it, we finally got together on a business trip in Orlando.  Sort of.  Kind of.  We mostly got together because we were really drunk and we had access to a hotel room.  The only thing that makes it seem romantic is that we ended up together, but it was all very slutty and booze induced. 

And from the sounds of it, falling in love with someone you meet online is kind of amazing if you think about it.  You both have to decide to join the same dating website, you both have to make the effort to go through prospective suitors, and you both have to connect with each other's profile enough to meet each other.  AND then after all that, there needs to be chemistry once you meet in person.  That's still a lot of shit that needs to fall into place to form a perfect union.

So, all in all, maybe instead of asking married couples how they met, we should ask them the moment they knew the person they were with was someone they could spend the rest of their lives with.  That's way more significant and romantic than the moment they decided to date, right?  If you asked the H-bomb, it was when I was staying with him at a hotel in Burbank while he was visiting SoCal on a business trip.  We were walking back to our room from the hotel bar when we spotted someone's discarded room service tray outside their door.  I peeked under the cloche, discovered two slices of pizza, yelled "score" and took the slices for both of us.  (what do you want from me, I was tipsy and hungry).  For me, it was when we were barely dating yet and I was visiting New York on a business trip.  I had an unfortunate infection that I had to go to the ER for and he insisted on taking me.  To me, those moments matter so much more than the drunken Disney World hook up. 

Do you have a moment in your relationship that's way more important than when you met?  Do you have an epically romantic meet-cute that ended horribly?  If so, comment below!


  1. i love this post and i agree with what your saying but i personally can't let go of the how we met/meet-cute dream. i want a good story even though i know i shouldn't. but i must say, most things in life that i've done (romantically and otherwise) i've done for the main purpose of having an amazing story to tell. but i guess that says a lot about me and not necessarily in a good way.

    1. I completely agree. And am guilty of this as well. I feel it is the idea, hope, and
      romanticism of the possibility that adds fuel to the fire... And the constant daydream that my life will be like a romantic comedy.

  2. I met Johnny on Twitter and we're almost at the 2 year mark. That's pretty amazing if you ask me!!! Not because of the story of how we met (which I shall tell here sometime soon I promise) but more because two people from opposite sides of the Bay could have met on the internet and can still find joy with one another past the glorious honeymoon stage. Keeping relationships going is hard, no matter the story of how you met. Whether you keep it going or decide to end it, just enjoy it while it's alive and well!