Tuesday, June 4, 2013

There's An App For That?

I'm no stranger to writing posts on new dating methods and strategies but I'm intrigued by the latest dating trend- apps.  While online dating has been around since the old AOL dial-up service, dating through technology didn't become trendy until, yep, you guessed it, there was an app for that.  It seems like the market place, or app store if you will, has become inundated with new apps trying to help people find love.  PDA for our PDA's.

Let's get real.  I've always thought that online dating was desperate.  Call me a snob.  Call me pretentious.  I don't care.  I thought that online dating was for socially awkward people that weren't able to connect with people in person so they needed to use the computer to meet a mate.  It was taboo. People didn't really talk about it.  Fast forward to 2013 when the Tinder app is the hottest thing on everyone's lips and Bang With Friends is taking over social media and pop culture.

What's most interesting is that somehow these apps have reduced the stigma of "online dating."  It's actually dare I say it, cool?  They're so popular and successful that everyone is getting in on it.   The newest dating app (that's free) is called Swoon that is making the rounds on the tech/love circuit.  It's got features similar to the others.  It runs through Facebook but it's anonymous.  Nothing will ever be posted to your FB wall.  And you're only matched if you both "like" each other.  It's one of the first dating apps that is made for both iPhone and Android which gives you access to a larger potential dating pool.  And to go the extra mile they are hosting Swoon-Ups around NYC and Southern California complete with cocktails and hors d'ouevres to help people meet each other.  They're taking it from digital to the dance floor so at least you can meet some of these people on the app in person.

So what is it about these apps that makes it socially acceptable to do something that was previously social suicide?  Are we all so obsessed with our phones that anything related to them is cool?  Or are we too lazy to even interact with people so it's much easier to flip through photos of potential dates instead of putting any actual energy or effort into getting to know someone first?

If you're single (or when you were) would you prefer to use an online dating website or an app?  Do you think it's "cooler" to use an app than an online dating site?



  1. i feel like i'm one of those annoying people that's in a relationship that says stuff like "i would totally do swoon" but then my single friend set me straight and said these apps all sound "rapey." word.

  2. Maybe it's an age thing (I'm 38), but most of my friends, myself included, who met their partners over the last ten years found them online. Of five couples who come to mind off the top of my head, only one has ever seemed to think there was any stigma attached (they used to tell people they met in a bookstore), and that's being embarrassed about themselves -- I have never, ever heard anyone say anything disparaging about anyone else who dated online, only that they themselves were a little weirded out by it.

    You're the first person who I've ever seen claim that it "was previously social suicide." It's a little bizarre -- is this a common prejudice among your age group (I'm assuming that your handle means you're in your twenties)?

  3. That's really interesting Josh, I would think there would be less stigma with the 20somethings since online dating has been a part of their dating life longer, but I'm totally with you. I don't think the stigma is what it was 5-10 years ago. Off the top of my head, I know four couples who recently got married and they all met online. better to meet a great person online than meet a bunch of shitty people in person.

  4. also, here's an old post in defense of online dating.