Monday, July 29, 2013

How Books, Movies and TV Screwed Me Up

Every year, I treat myself to a Sex and the City marathon. I re-enter the magical world of sex, heartbreak and shoes. While this is one of my fave shows ever in life, I can’t help but wonder…should Carrie have really ended up with Big?

Don’t get me wrong, I rooted for them. I love Big. Still, it’s not really fair to lead us to believe that the ultimate emotionally unattainable man will eventually fly to Paris and tell us we’re the one after years of stringing us along.

I was so proud of Carrie when she broke up with Big at the end of season one. He wasn’t sure about her, so she ended things because she had faith that she would find someone who was. I guess she didn’t have that much faith though because six months later she got back together with him. Of course, nothing really changed.  He left her and later married another woman even though he always claimed he’d never get married. It didn’t work out and he came crawling back. Not gonna lie, there’s a part of me that wished Carrie ended up with Aidan. He was a good guy who adored her. Well, he was a good guy until Sex and the City 2, but I like to pretend that movie does not exist.

Carrie loved Big and could never shake him. We all yearn for the emotionally unavailable “bad boy.” I get it. Believe me, I get it. I would have chosen Big too, but chances are it wouldn’t work out in real life. I’ve dated many emotionally unavailable men and let me tell ya…it hasn’t worked out. I become infatuated, give more than I get and settle for any measly scrap they are willing to throw my way until I can’t take it anymore. I walk away heartbroken until the next one comes along. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The same could be said for one of my other favorite fictional characters, Felicity. Everytime I re-watch, I fall in love with Ben all over again. Yet the older and wiser me always begs her (and myself) to pick Noel. Noel is the better and more stable option. Noel always treated her better than Ben. Why can’t I freaking ever want Noel?

In Grease, Sandy and Danny ended up together, but she had to completely change who she was for him. I’d like to ask her if it was really worth it.

I don’t think anyone thought Christian Grey was realistic. He’s the complete fantasy. Just your typical 27 year old billionaire. Yes, he’s totally tortured, but you can fix him. Oh and he’ll give you multiple mind blowing orgasms a day. It takes a lot for me to hit the big O, so if you have ever experienced an orgasm like the ones described in Fifty Shades of Grey could you PLEASE introduce me to that person?

Don’t even get me started on fairytales and fictional vampires.

I wish at a young age someone just told me that love was hard and the road to love is filled with many speed bumps. I wish someone had warned me that sometimes love doesn’t last and sometimes it really hurts. That even if you are lucky enough to find a prince, he’s not going to be perfect and it’s going to take work.  There’s not always a twist in the third act. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Just once I’d like a realistic fairytale where the unattainable man really is just that and the girl finds a good guy and lives happily ever after (with couples therapy).


  1. I love Aidan!

    And I wish SATC 2 didn't exist.

  2. love this post! i think Carrie was Aidan's Mr. Big-- except his ending with her was much more true to life than her ending with Big, I also feel like there needs to be a third sex and the city movie to fix how awful the second sex and the city movie was. I'm totally with you on the Ben/Noel dilemma-- is there any show out there where the girl has ended up with the good/nice guy instead of the emotionally unavailable dude that strings her along the whole time? I mean, even angela should have chosen brian krakow.

  3. I agree we need a SATC 3 movie!! And i think we should write a tv series where that happens :-) I love that the one thing my two loves Felicity and MSCL have in common is...Brian Krakow. Even if he was the pink guy who raped Julie, he will always really be Brian Krakow.

  4. I know that for many, Grease is a playground staple. I can remember plenty of girls that ran around singing Summer Lovin' while I pretended to know the words, since my Mom wouldn't let me watch the movie until high school. She didn't like the message that you should change yourself to get the guy, and instead wanted to raise her daughters as independent women that didn't compromise their identities for dudes. Got to hand it to her, shit works -- I'm still single.

    Also, the upcoming JGL movie discusses how the media effects women's expectations of love (in contrast to the male porn addiction, and its effects on men's expectations for sex). Sara, you'll have to do a review for TBO.