Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Nicholas Sparks & the BLOW OFF

Oh Nicholas Sparks. If I were to write a letter to him, I would ask why he keeps creating ridiculously perfect men that do not exist in real life. These guys are saints, war heroes, single fathers and bad boys gone really good. In some cases, they are all of the above. These are men who love more passionately than…the most passionate thing you can think of.

Aside from being amazing men who risk their lives for their country while raising children and rescuing puppies, Hollywood casts actors such as Josh Duhamel, Ryan Gosling, Liam Hemsworth, Shane West and Channing Tatum to bring these perfect guys to life. For our momma’s, Richard Gere and Kevin Costner will have to suffice. As a 31 year old single female, I could honestly say that I would happily do any of them.

Here is the Nicholas Sparks equation for love: hottest man in the actual universe falls for willowy girl with a past. She falls for him because in addition to looking like Channing Tatum, he rescues puppies, raises children and fought in a war. And when they have sex in the rain for the first time it’s passionate and tender, gritty and hot and I’m like I want this love. Then something goes wrong like the guy finds out about the girl's shady past or someone dies in a terrible boating accident and you realize that this type of love must come with tragedy because this is all just too fucking perfect.

Hey, I love me some Nicholas Sparks. I’m a girl and I’ve seen The Notebook 100 times. Literally, my first DVD actually combusted and I had to purchase a new one. I also own A Walk to Remember and I enjoy Dear John or Message in a Bottle now and again. I personally do not feel like Safe Haven, The Last Song, or Night in Rodanthe added anything to my life, but I also can’t tell you they were miserable movie experiences that I wish I could take back. I’ve decided that instead of blaming Nicholas Sparks for my insanely high expectations when it comes to guys and love, I’m going to thank him. Yes, I am going to thank him for the lessons I will take away from each of his movies (I didn’t read all the books sorry) because there are some lessons to be learned:

#1 Looking for love is much easier in a small town. Did you ever notice that all Nicholas Sparks stories take place in a quaint, picturesque little town where everyone knows everyone else? So if you are the new girl, it will only be a matter of time before Josh Duhamel feasts his eyes on you. Sure, it’s harder to meet new people in a town of 40, but you won’t always be looking for the next best thing because well, there isn’t a one. It’s also easy to nurture and develop love through serene boat rides across a crystal blue lake. Bridgeton, Maine here I come!

#2  Life is short: Every Nicholas Spark book/movie has some sort of tragedy. Never take a day with the one you love for granted because he could leave to rescue orphans in Cambodia and never return. If you find love, hold on tight and enjoy every moment you have together.

#3 Never settle: Do I think there is actually a man out there like Noah from The Notebook? Nope. Sure there are good guys out there, but someone as amazing as this character who also looks like Ryan Gosling? Please. Still, I have faith that there are guys who will treat me right, want to make me happy and maybe even build me a porch. I can and will fall in love with a guy who deserves me and perhaps it’s time to raise my expectations and stop with all the bad boys who really are just bad.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I simply must watch Dear John.


  1. Trying to figure out how it is possible that Nicholas Sparks didn't also write Bridges of Madison County. I'm still totally ruined by the notebook and my fave part of a walk to remember is when shane west's character takes mandy moore to the state border and she gets to be in two places at once.

  2. That's my fave part of "A Walk to Remember too!" I used to want "Only Hope" to be my wedding song. Shhhh