Thursday, September 19, 2013

BLOW OFF quiz: Which Cable TV character is the man for you?

Welcome to the first BLOW OFF quiz!  I used to take quizzes very seriously back when I was young enough to subscribe to magazines like Seventeen and YM (AKA Young & Modern).  Now I only take quizzes when they pop up on Facebook and are all about finding out which of Don Draper's love interests you're most like (I'm Faye.)  Anyway, in honor of the Emmys this weekend, we're giving some love to our favorite cable TV characters by asking the question: which cable TV character is the man for you, scroll slowly so you don't get a peek at the answers.  Straight dudes, you can play along too to find out which character you're most like.  Let's do this.

#1 When it comes to religion, you prefer a guy who's:
A. Spiritual and believes in the power of prayer.
B. Taken an oath of celibacy, but is known to break it.
C. Only prays if it's the serenity prayer.
D. Doesn't believe in hell, but is probably going there.
E. Atheist, through and through.

#2 What's your favorite style on a guy:
A. You love a man in a uniform.
B. Cold weather gear: sweaters, scarves, coats.
C. hoodies and beanies.
D. Suits.
E. T-shirt and jeans.

#3 What would your ideal guy listen to on Spotify?
A. Classic rock.  And maybe a little improvisational jazz. 
B. Something with a lot of wind and string instruments-- like Mumford & Sons
C. A mix: rap, hip-hop, probably a little Led Zeppelin
D. Spotify?  He only listens to Sinatra records.
E. Obscure indie rock you've never heard of.

#4 What's your idea of a perfect date?
A. Dive bar, beer, playing pool.
B. Something active & adventurous: like horseback riding.
C. Staying in, ordering pizza, watching a movie.
D. Dinner at a swanky restaurant, Porterhouse for two.
E. Spending the whole night in bed.

#5 You're at a cafe.  The hot guy you're eyeing is reading:
A. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut.
B. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer.
C. A graphic novel like V for Vendetta.
D. Anything by Hemingway.
E. Inherit Vice by Thomas Pynchon

#6 It's Friday night.  What movie are you streaming on Netflix?
A. The Deerhunter.
B. The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
C. Scarface.
D. Casablanca.
E. Run Lola Run.

#7 If your man had a cause it would be:
A. Anti-war.
B. Animal Rights. 
C. anything to do with kids.
D. causes are a waste of time.
E. Occupy Wall Street.

Scoring:

If you picked mostly A then Sgt. Brody from Homeland is your man.  You like a guy who's broken on the inside, but strong enough on the outside to have sex standing up.  You also like a man who's traveled the world, speaks multiple languages, and is into different religious.  You want your man to love you so much, he'd be willing to commit an act of terrorism or kill a public official if you asked him to.








If you picked mostly B then Jon Snow from Game of Thrones is your man.  You like a guy who's adventurous and loves the outdoors.  A guy who's brave enough to kill freaky ass snow monsters.  He loves direwolves and his family, but beware: he has serious daddy issues.

If you picked mostly C then Jesse Pinkham from Breaking Bad is your man.  You like a guy who's wild on the outside, but a vulnerable softie on the inside.  A guy who says the word "bitch" a lot.  A guy who has a serious soft spot for kids. But be careful, he could get you hooked on drugs.

If you picked mostly D then Don Draper from Mad Men is your man.  You like a guy who's  emotionally unavailable and slightly abusive, but really hot.  A guy who's ambitious and has a thriving career.  A guy who might also be married and assumed someone else's identity.  But day-um, who cares, he looks mighty fine in a suit.

If you picked mostly E then Adam Sackler from Girls is your man.  You like a guy who tells you he's not into you for a year, then says he can't live without you.  A guy who smokes cigarettes in bed and quotes Kerouac.  A guy who might cum all over you without notice, but will still come running when you're in the throes of an OCD breakdown,

3 comments:

  1. omg, you and don draper are meant to be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 2-b, 2-e, 2-d, 1-a....I like a little bit of everything, but Don Draper. LOL

    ReplyDelete