Thursday, September 12, 2013

How Many Baskets Should I Have For My Eggs?

It's one of the biggest dating cliches, "Don't put all of your eggs in one basket."  But no one ever bothers to go deeper than that phrase.  First of all, how many eggs do I actually have?  And how many baskets should they then be spread across?  So here's the question I've been asking myself: If you're dating someone and you like them, but you haven't reached the point where you've had a conversation that you two are exclusive, should you keep dating and hooking up with other people?

I've been told by my friends that in 2013, unless you've had the exclusivity talk, you should pretty much assume that the guy you're dating is seeing other people.  And regardless of whether that's actually true or not, you should be seeing other people as well.  And there lies my problem.

I'm not the girl that dates around just to date.  Yes, I know we all need to date people, for lack of a better term, for practice, but if I'm consistently talking to you or dating you it's because I really like you and want it to move forward.  Then when I go on dates with other people, my heart just isn't into it because I'm thinking about the other person that I actually have feelings for- especially during the actual hook up (if it gets that far).

It's obviously not cheating if you're not in a relationship, but if I don't really want to put my eggs in other baskets, do I still need to?  Of course if it was someone I really liked and was attracted to that would be an entirely different scenario.

What do you guys think?  Do you date multiple people to continue dating until you've established that you're in an actual relationship?  Or do you like to stay monogamous even if you haven't made things official yet?  Comment below! 



  1. I am the SAME way. I'm not a huge dater. I always am completely single, nothing going on; have a booty call, not dating though; or am dating someone, and just the one person. So if I'm taking time in my busy schedule to date someone, I doubt I have extra time for someone else. And I don't understand dating for practice....I'm 33, pretty sure I'm not doing it perfectly, but I'm past doing it for practice.

  2. So I made the mistake years ago of passing up a couple potential hook ups, because there was a guy I was sort of rekindling things with and felt like it would be disloyal to him and then that guy dumped me and I still regret the fact that I missed out on getting extra play because of him. So, I say unless the person physically repulses you: have fun.

  3. I found dating more than one person at once entirely maddening. Dating for me involved a balance of ethics, logistics, and desire. All three became complicated once there was more than one person at a time. I had only brief moments when I was into more than one person at once, and it felt both wrong to pursue (not that wrongness doesn't have its own accelerant properties) and difficult to schedule.

    1. strangely, i think it's different for women, because if we like a guy-- we're often at the mercy of whatever he decides when it comes to the relationship-- which is why i think we almost need to keep our options open purely as a survival tactic if anything.

  4. Obviously this quote is about love, not dating but I'm partial to the Johnny Depp quote, "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. If you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." So if someone peeks my interest that much I will go with it. But I'm not sure about hooking up just for the sake of doing it.

  5. I gotta say i was lucky enough that the guy im with now was straight up like "I like you, I want you, lets do this." and that was all she wrote. Ppl told me to play the field dont give up freedom too fast but honestly it just felt right. So I may not have many (or any) horrible date blow offs to share. But im sooo happy I just dont care. lol