Monday, September 30, 2013

Sh*t Guys Say In Bed

I'm not gonna lie...I'm a fan of dirty talk.  Yes, there's a line for everyone (myself included) between provocative and pervy, but I think it's really sexy when a guy just goes for it and is so into you that he can't help himself from verbally explaining what he's physically doing/going to do to you.  I'm also a fan of random thoughts being thrown out there.  I still fantasize about the time a man in media res screamed out, "You're insatiable!" 

This is definitely better than the flip side.  Trust me.  I've been with a man that doesn't even acknowledge that he's well..., you know...., and I don't find out until he's basically done.  But that doesn't mean that all conversation during sex is good.

Disclaimer, this is totally going to sound like a pretentious #WhiteGirlProblem, but I have a point.  I promise.  I really *hate* a guy telling me I'm perfect while he's caressing, kissing, or doing anything else to me. Yes, I know that he thinks he's being complimentary, but in my fucked-up head that proclamation pretty much does everything but laud me.  I hope that they are just saying it to win brownie points so I'll do the things that are on my off-limits list- albeit that list is fairly short, but strict.

Hearing a guy call me "perfect" in the physical sense actually brings out all of my insecurities.  "So you're saying that if I wasn't this weight or didn't look like this or my face was completely broken out you wouldn't be enjoying this encounter nearly this much?" I get it.  That's not actually what they're saying but it makes me feel an immense amount of pressure to keep up whatever weight or look or weave I have going.

I'm just asking men to stop using the word "perfect."  I always slink down in the bed when men say this because it makes me insanely uncomfortable because no one, not even Brooklyn Decker is perfect.  And I personally feel like it sets women up to fail.  And if you're going to speak during sex, I think we can get a lot more creative.  Right guys?

Do you guys like dirty talk?  Would you like being called perfect?  Comment below.


  1. great post! it totally makes sense to me why "perfect" would set the bar a little too high. They should take a lesson from Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones when he tells her "i like you very much, just as you are." Also, I just read that Helen Fielding kills of Darcy in the third book. That deserves a blow off post of its own.

  2. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH perfect!!!!!! <3
    i hate it when they say perfect!
    i preffer my boyfriend to tell me how its feeling or how i am "naughty" and saying stuff like "harder" or "deeper"