Tuesday, October 8, 2013

trapped on a plane with the most annoying couple in the world

Editor's Note: Remember our PDA post from last week? Well, one of my besties posted a hilarious comment on Facebook recounting her own miserable experience with a couple who was way too into public displays off affection. It's so funny, I had to post it to the site. I secretly hope these two A-holes broke up.

This AWFUL PDA couple was in front of me on the plane. Full on tongue kissing and loud whispers about how the other person, "feels like family/home". There was nowhere to go, I was trapped listening to their gross cooing and smacking noises. From what I gathered, they just got engaged after dating for only 6 months.

After one particularly aggressive make out sesh they spilled a Jack & Ginger all over my diaper bag. They thought this was hysterical "whispering" to each other, how funny it is that a baby's toys/diapers will have Jack Daniels on them. No apology or offer to help clean up. When my son sneezed they covered their mouths with a scarf and rolled their eyes while glancing back at him, annoyed. Then back to dry humping. That was it...I needed revenge.

As we were deplaning I caught their eye. I said with a huge grin, "You two are SO cute, are you on your Honeymoon?!?" Silence...then stuttering. Huge success. They instantly froze up, got really awkward (especially the guy) and uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry," I said, "it's just that you seem so in love, it reminded me of my honeymoon! I can't believe that was only two years ago (lie for effect). Then motioning to my baby boy: I got this guy from the whole thing (again, a lie for effect)..haha...and I gained 70lbs...from the baby, not the Honeymoon...haha...it's been crazy. I don't think I've slept since my Honeymoon...haha...ya, it all changes (as I glaze my eyes over).

The girl beamed at my baby telling me how cute he was well behaved and how much she LOVES kids. The guy took the bait! He was standing there frozen, he was reeling from the reality of what his girlfriend will want out of life...and him. At the risk of sounding like a joy sucking jerk, The moral of this story is, listen to Saaara and just hold hands!  That way people like me won't feel the need to ruin your romantic trip and fantasy of marriage. That and don't f with someone's diaper bag on a plane.

1 comment:

  1. What kind of sick people don't apologize for spilling Jack Daniels on someone's diaper bag?!?!?!