Thursday, November 7, 2013

A bachelor save the date: an analysis

Sean (AKA Whitey McWhiteperson) and Catherine (AKA Pocahantas Colors of the Wind) are getting married on live television July 26th, 2014 and just released their save the date.  In other words, the ABC print ad for their nuptials.  I mean, did they really have to send this to their guests  when the network issued a press release a few weeks ago?

You guys know how I feel about Sean and Catherine.  He is naive and madly in love with her, because he does not want Albino babies.  Meanwhile, she's just having fun.  She went on The Bachelor hoping she would get Sean to like her enough to keep her in the final two, but not so much where he would actually propose, so that she could be the Bachelorette (you just know if she had been, Brooks would have stuck around.)  When that didn't happen she found herself on the sidelines while Sean competed on Dancing with the Stars.  This was not part of her master plan.  So, I'm betting this wedding will be all bout HER.
Here's what we can learn from Sean and Catherine's relationship from their save the date.  It's addressed to "Lovers, friends, family, & Jack Nicholson."  Clearly, these two have a sense of humor OR Catherine is inviting Jack to the nuptials hoping she can get a little somethin' somethin' before she takes Sean's born again virginity on their wedding night.

We also learn that even though Sean and Catherine are allegedly waiting till their wedding night to have sex, they are all kinds of kinky as demonstrated by the bear heads they are wearing.  I would not have guessed these two were into the whole furry phenomenon, BUT I also can't really imagine them keeping a straight face while having sex, so maybe the masks are a good thing. 

They also can't let go of their bachelor roots, because they had to incorporate red roses into the card.  I think it would have been much better if Chris Harrison was riding on the handle bars, but that's just me.

The tone of this save the date is very tongue and cheek.  These two are trying to say "we're too cool for cheesy and lame wedding conventions" which is completely ridiculous because THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND MET ON A REALITY TV SHOW.

They also ask their guests to get ready for major tomfoolery and ballyhoo.  Hmmmm.  I did not realize they were cast members on New Girl.  Who talks like that?  Clearly, Sean and Catherine are a little in love with their own cuteness and more power to them, but it does give me even more pause about their relationship.  A marriage can't be sustained on witty remarks and adorable banter.  These two are in the friend zone and they don't even know it.  Scratch that.  Sean doesn't know it and Catherine just really doesn't want to give up that Neil Lane engagement ring. 

3 comments:

  1. So true, she displays about as much romance towards Sean as a wet sock. She is beyond awkward and tried to own it during the show, but it made her look immature and like she could not be taken seriously...which is true, when you are marrying an insta-guy-friend. It is hard to turn on the love.

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  2. Wait, I actually think it was funny and cute. Should I be worried?

    (Even though I'm really not buying that Sean knows who Tupac is).

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  3. I can't believe i forgot to mention hologram tupac, what a perfect yet dated reference. In all honesty, it is funny and cute. but i don't get paid to NOT make fun of people. I don't get paid to make fun of people either. Regardless, this wedding will be nothing without Des's brother.

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