Wednesday, November 13, 2013

dry spells & the BLOW OFF

I'm currently in a bit of a career dry spell. By currently, I mean I've been in one over the last year.  It happens as a writer.  I quit my executive job four years ago to pursue writing full time and out of those four years, the first was lucrative, the second was not, the third was lucrative, and the fourth was not.  That's what happens when you trade stability and a job you're not crazy about for instability and a job you love.  It's also a reminder that if I'm going to do this for the rest of my life, there will always be good years and bad years ahead. (2014, you better step it up).

I'm always writing and working on material, but I never realized until recently how much of my ego is tied to making money.  We still treat this like it's purely a male problem.  Only men feel emasculated if they lose their jobs or aren't making enough money to support their family, but more and more women are defining themselves by what they do for a living too.  I've had a job since I was fourteen years old and scooping ice cream at Baskin Robbins.  I've always made my own money till now.  The H-bomb and I bought a house this year and it's felt crappy to not be able to contribute financially.  I want us to both be the breadwinners like Jay-Z and Beyonce. 

And then there are the dating dry spells which are just as bad as career ones (well, maybe not just as bad-- you can still pay your rent when you have a dating dry spell...) BUT it still sucks to watch your friends get into serious relationships when you have absolutely no prospects.  They're getting it on the regular and you haven't gotten it for so long you're approaching born-again territory.  You guys know the rough patches I'm talking about.  The times when you don't even have anyone to think about when you go to sleep.  The times where you have to dig deep into the archives of ex-boyfriends to relate to your friends when they vent about their relationship problems.  I've had plenty of those times.  But then I would always end up meeting someone when I least expected it.  Just kidding.  When does anyone actually not expect to meet someone?

All I could do with the dating dry spells was wait it out and keep putting myself out there and that's pretty much all I can do with my career dry spell.  I made a promise to myself this year that I'm going to give this whole writing thing fifty years.  If I'm eighty-three and the BLOW OFF hasn't completely taken off yet and I'm still telling everyone about some producer who read my pilot and liked it, then it's time for plan B.  Have a baby.


  1. ugh career dry spells are worse but when you're in a dating dry spell - nothing SEEMS worse. i got really good at telling myself "isn't it FUN to be alone?"

  2. Film Girl I tell myself the same thing. "Look at all the fun stuff you can do because you are single!" Ugh, why do we lie to ourselves?! I therefore compiled a short list titled: things I can do at home became I am single and would not do if I had a boyfriend:
    -Slather my hands, face, & feet with argan oil before going to bed. I am a slippery but moisturized mess.
    -Eat an avacado/bacon/grapefruit/cereal for dinner...if I had a man most likely would be cooking for him, unless he was a chef then he cooks for me.
    -Leave my hair in the shower...and in the drain, long hair don't care!
    -And while I'm at it, leave my makeup, hair products, etc. out on the bathroom counter along with the hairdryer.
    -Not clean the apartment because let's face one is coming over and the dog does not judge.
    -Wear ex-'s shirt to bed three nights in a row.
    -Play my John Mayer station on Pandora loudly while I am cooking.
    -Leave my trash on the balcony...because I am too lazy to walk it to the dumpster.
    -Sit around the house with no bra on...I'm lucky to have underwear on at this point.
    -Not shower, or shave down there.
    -Watch 3 hours of my DVR shows and not move from the couch.

    1. omg, anonymous. this is amazing. I am going to use it as a post!

  3. I love this career-focused post. I'm in the process of preparing to leave my corporate media position (along with a six-figure income, 401k-matching, stock options-exercising existence) to attempt the world of freelance and relative poverty. It's slightly terrifying, and I guess it's possible I may regret it at some point. But after much contemplation, my decision is firm. I appreciate hearing stories from others who have done the same thing and I'm hoping your career dry spell comes to an end very soon!

    Meanwhile, I am also single and am NOT lying to myself when I say that I truly do prefer it this way. At this point (close to 40), I am too set in my ways and protective of my alone time to really contemplate entering into a serious relationship. Really just not interested. We aren't all lying when we say this.

    1. So glad you liked the post, Lora! it's definitely a scary decision but also very liberating. I'm sure you will not regret it, best of luck!