10. Distract yourself with an ex. I know this sounds like terrible advice, but if your current BF is acting weird and you're a little freaked out that it's the beginning of the end-- then seek male attention elsewhere to help get your mind off it. You have to choose your ex carefully. It should be someone you don't have any deep rooted feelings for (AKA not the guy you think about when you hear the Adele song Someone Like You), it should be someone who won't think you're a complete weirdo for getting back in touch, and most importantly, it should be someone that will respond flirtatiously. I do not recommend actually seeing them in person.
9. I'm a big believer in retail therapy. Whatever you need to bring yourself some temporarily materialistic happiness: buy it. A new pair of shoes? A handbag? Some earrings? Treat. Yo. Self. If material things don't bring you any happiness, then...you are either probably full alien or half-alien, in which case you have bigger problems than a guy who's not texting.
8. Resist the urge to text or call. I know it's hard, but if they're thinking about pulling a fade away, then getting bombarded by texts or calls from you is probably only going to make them feel all the more freaked out. More importantly, if they're not contacting you, then they don't deserve to be contacted by you.
7. One free pass does not make you a push over. I went through a short limbo period with the H-bomb when we were still long distance. We were consistently in contact and then over a three day period I heard from him less than normal. I was convinced all was lost and then he resurfaced and mentioned he was sorry he had neglected me for the last few days but things were really crazy or some lame excuse like that. I didn't let him have it, but I did take note. I knew I was giving him a free pass this time, but there wouldn't be one the next time around. The point is, guys sometimes act weird and distant as a test. If we go nuts, we fail. If we act like it's no big thing, we pass.
6. Two free passes does make you a push over. If a guy makes a habit of disappearing or being inconsistent and we let them off the hook for it every time, then we're at risk at being put in the low self-esteem category. So per #7-- the first time they do it, pretend like you didn't even notice. The second time, I think it's totally fair to make some sort of comment-- light-hearted or annoyed, whatever you want. The third time bodes a "this isn't really going to work out for me" conversation.
5. Hide your phone. I've done this in the past many times. When I could feel myself going a little nuts, because I wasn't hearing from the guy I was dating, I would turn off my phone and put it in my linen closet and try to forget about it. After about an hour, I would get too curious and dig it out BUT at least it gave me a little break from constantly checking it. If you live with roommates, then ask them to hide your phone for you. That way, you won't even know where to find it. Don't do this if you have no access to any other phone lines, because that sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. Like, a serial killer breaks into your house but you can't call 911 because your friends hid your phone, you don't know where it is, and now you're going to get murdered because that guy you've been dating started acting weird.
4. If the whole distracting yourself with an ex-boyfriend doesn't work, then do all the things you haven't had a chance to do because you've been dating someone. A mani/pedi. An eyebrow wax. Cocktails with all those girlfriends you haven't seen in weeks. A marathon of the Oprah's Next Chapter episodes you've been dying to see. You can even dust off that old vibrator and take a break from faking it.
3. Go on a date with another guy. Obviously, this depends on how serious you are with the current guy, but if getting drinks or dinner with the member of the opposite sex wouldn't be considered cheating, then do it. Remember how guys have radar and always seem to get in touch when we've moved on with someone else? Well, maybe we need to start learning to use that radar to our advantage.
2. Ask yourself this: What Would Kate Middleton Do? When she and Prince William were broken up, she didn't cry about it or beg for him to come back (actually, I have no idea-- she may have done these things) BUT I do know she went out and partied a lot with Pippa and made sure to look really hot when she got photographed. So, instead of not making any plans on Friday night in case the guy you're dating comes out of his funk and reaches out, go out with your friends, wear something cute, and post pictures on Facebook.
|kate during the break up.|