Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving: the jilted holiday

Guys, can we all take a moment to beg Thanksgiving for our forgiveness?  To tell her (yes, her) that all this time, the holiday we were meant to love was standing right in front of our faces and we were too blind to see it?  That we didn't realize how beautiful and wonderful she was, because we were too caught up with Christmas and Halloween to notice her?
Seriously, T-day might be the most under appreciated Holiday of all time.  I get that it's not as flashy as Christmas.  It offends vegetarians and vegans worldwide.  And probably Native Americans.  It's not commemorated by a specific date every year-- like October 31st or February 14th.  It's randomly been placed as the fourth Thursday in November-- so no one can ever really keep track of when it is.  There's no Thanksgiving greeting cards or home decorations (um, raise your hand if you have a cornucopia in your house).  There's no traditional Thanksgiving songs except for that one by Adam Sandler.  It doesn't have its own holiday character like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.  There's no fireworks or champagne toasts at midnight.  There's a major shortage of movies about Thanksgiving (um, Garry Marshall, I'm looking at you.)   And lately, it's not just getting overshadowed by Christmas-- it's getting overshadowed by Black Friday and Cyber Monday and this year-- the first day of Hanukkah. 

It's not fair, you guys.  Thanksgiving is AWESOME.  It's always on a Thursday which means we automatically get a four day weekend.  There's none of the added pressure of putting on a cool costume (Halloween) or going to some awesome party (New Year's) or having a girlfriend (Valentine's Day.)  There's none of the stress of spending a fortune on presents.  We get to eat a shit-ton of food and simply reflect on the things in life we're grateful for (leftovers and Ryan Gosling.)   Not a lot of people know this, but Dolly Parton's song I Will Always Love You was actually written about Thanksgiving.  Google it.

We at the BLOW OFF (and by we, I mean me) would like to declare T-day the people's holiday.  I have no idea what I mean by that, but the point is-- you get to eat stuffing and you don't have to buy presents for other people.  Take that, Christmas.

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