Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Every BLOW OFF has a reason

When I was little, my friends and I used to call a man named Helmut. We didn’t know him personally, and he never answered his phone. How we discovered him, I couldn’t tell ya.

Every week he had a different song on his answering machine. They ranged from funny songs like “Washing Machine’s Eat Socks” and “Coat Hangers Do It Too” (that was my fave), to profound love ballads. One that always stuck with me was called “There’s a Reason.” In his funny accent and off key tone, Helmut sang “there’s a reason, yes there’s a reason, though sometimes it’s very hard to see. Everything that happens is part of a plan and in the long run, it’s best for you and me.”

I’ve always been of the mindset that everything happens for a reason, at least when it comes to relationships. I may or may not have a tattoo that says “fate.” Of course, in the midst of heartbreak it is sometimes hard to see what the reason might be. What possible reason could there be for feeling like you had your insides ripped to shreds? Why did you meet and fall in love with someone who wasn’t meant to be in your life forever? Are the lessons learned really worth the pain?

I was looking at a family member’s ex girlfriend on Facebook. She was all smiles, looking totally happy with her new boyfriend. Yet, it seems like only yesterday (it’s actually been a few years, but time flies when you get old) that she was devastated over their break up. They lived together, she wanted to marry him, but he wasn’t sure about her. It’s hopeful that she appears to have found someone who is sure.

I have a friend (I’ll call her Tiffany). She and her boyfriend were together for years, lived together and even went ring shopping. He ended their relationship and a mere eight months later, he married someone else. As hard as it was for her (and boy was it hard) she is now in love with a guy who brings out the best in her.

A guy I used to date became engaged. When he still hooked up with me (I’m not proud of this, but it happened) I knew there was trouble in paradise. I can’t say I was completely surprised when it didn’t work out and although I was a factor in the break up, there were obviously underlying issues that caused him to be with me in the first place. They are both married now (to other people and NO, I am not one of them). They weren’t meant to be and as hurtful and messy as it got, that road may have led them to their soulmates. As for me, I vowed never to knowingly be the other girl again even if there is history and unresolved feelings. And before you hate, please know that karma punished me with a couple of major heartbreaks since that happened.

People survive deaths and tsunamis, yet when you’re going through a bad breakup you really don’t know how you are ever going to get through it. I guess all you can really do is listen the wise words of Helmut and truly believe that everything does happen for a reason and there is something better out there for you. And if you would like to check out Helmut, below is a link to one his musical gem’s just in time for the holidays.


  1. I love Helmut! Such a great song and post. Meeting the guy I ended up with certainly did help me finally understand why relationships before him didn't work out. It was nice to finally find the reason.

  2. Haha isn't he special? and thank you!