Thursday, December 5, 2013

Negging: The Secret Dickhead Tactic to Hitting on Girls

In my opinion, not enough gals tell guys to "shut the f*ck up and stop talking to me."  Heck, I get that at least once a day (and twice at night!) but that's just on account of my personality. And that's just factoring my Mom! Who knows how high that number gets when I factor in people I meet everyday?!  Hundreds, maybe!!!!

Recently, during my daily Facebook stalking sessions, where I look at a female friend's pics with prolonged interest and unwavering creepiness, I've noticed the occasional negative comment (supposedly a tease) from a guy. It'll come in the form of a cutdown on the girl's appearance or physical attributes. This infuriates me. The last comment that comes to mind was one where a guy mentioned that the girl's forehead looked huge in the picture. (She promptly deleted the pic.)

Ladies, did you know this is actually a strategy used by guys – mostly upon first meeting them in a group at a bar or nightclub? It's called "negging" and that sh*t works, unfortunately. Sure, this is not something that uncommon, as ever since kindergarten, boys have been teasing girls they like. But back then, boys didn't know any better.

Now we're f*cking men.
(Men who like to asterisk their curse words, in case their moms see.)

What I'm talking about is when guys purposely put a girl down in an off-handed remark. Urban Dictionary defines negging as "low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances."

This is for bush league douchebags. Just like homophobia, you are not welcome to hang out with me with such unsavory tactics. (And hanging out with me is a hot ticket in the town of Cupertino.)
Some examples given in well-referenced blogs that I won't give any extra link attention to:

"Your roots are showing."

"I like that outfit you've got on... but I don't know... your shoes don't really match. You should have gone with tan boots."

"You have a pretty face, but you'd be even prettier if you'd lose the bangs."

The goal of these negs is to undermine the self-confidence of a hot girl so that she might work to gain your approval. Unfortunately for attractive girls, they are most likely to be the most insecure. They're so used to getting hit on and complimented all the time, they see this slight as something very foreign to them. It plays to all their insecurities.

My strategy, on the other hand, is to gape at the attractive female with my mouth wide open and hope that I don't drool in the process. (Whatever you do, do NOT compliment a girl you JUST met on being "beautiful," "gorgeous," or "pretty" – but that's another story.)

I'm not saying put a hand up in the face of any guy approaching you, because that guy could be me, and all I want to do is attempt to engage you with conversations about my favorite cartoons (did you know they killed off Brian Griffin in The Family Guy!?!?!?), but put a stop to these negs. Only ugly guys use tactics like negs.

So, ladies, if you're with your girlfriends and you're engaging with some courageous guys that have made their way over to you, give them a chance. BUT, if you hear one of these off-handed negative comments, remember that you don't need to appease or impress anyone at this stage. Tell that douche to "shut the f*ck up" and leave you alone.

Kevin L.


  1. "Tell that douche to "shut the f*ck up" and leave you alone."

    Haha! Love this!

  2. Thank you for speaking on this issue. There is a male friend of mine who is constantly using negs. His "well intended" remarks have the exact opposite effect on me and from what I can gather most girls, it makes us think he is an insecure toolbag, which is too bad, because he is cute.

    Women love to be called beautiful and get genuine compliments. The gent I am currently seeing tells me I am beautiful everyday, and told me I was beautiful the first time we met in person. SWOON, that's music to my ears. Boo for the boys who use negs.

  3. Whoa, they killed off Brian? See, that would totally work on me.
    Absolutely with you on the negging, that's disgusting. I haven't really experienced it a lot, but then, I'm not considered classically "beautiful".
    I also don't have any qualms about telling someone "you need to stop talking to me right now".

    And yeah, if someone randomly comes up to me and calls me beautiful, I'll assume they're using a standard pick-up line. Compliment me on my haircut or my eyes or better yet, my nerdy t-shirt (cause that'll show me we have something in common), and we're okay, but if you just call me gorgeous out of the blue I'm not even going to take you seriously. If we've been seeing each other for a while, "beautiful" is totally on though.
    (I'd be curious to hear about your reasons for saying you shouldn't use that compliment. I'm pretty sure there's more reasons than mine.)