Friday, January 10, 2014

BLOW OFF Variety Pack

Guys, so many good BLOW OFFs in the news this week to discuss.  Here are just a few of my favorites.  I have to say, I'm a little disheartened by the youth of today. At least Justin Bieber's still a good person.

You know what's cooler than three billion dollars?  Nothing.  Nothing is cooler.
I'm fascinated by Evan Spiegel (pictured above) the twenty-three year old CEO of Snapchat--- mainly because he sounds like a total douchebag.  He famously turned down a three-billion dollar cash offer from Mark Zuckerberg to purchase his company (entitled, much?).  But apparently, he also lied to Forbes Magazine about how everything went down when Zuckerberg wanted to meet him and then tweeted these screenshots of their email exchange. 

WHAT THE WHAT.  I love the way he gives Zuck the subtle BLOW OFF.  I mean, Evan.  You founded a company that makes people's texts disappear in ten seconds.  You should know better than to post email exchanges on the internet.  If that wasn't bad enough, there's rumors he's "casually" dating Taylor Swift, which basically guarantees there will be a break up anthem on the radio in three months that references Snapchat.

Young people: stop getting married.  
 I've decided that if you have to be twenty-five to rent a car, then you need to be thirty to get married.  I don't understand why these young celebs are getting married/engaged so freaking young.  Bobbi Kristina Brown confirmed via Twitter that she's now married.  New rule: if you use this many emoticons in a tweet, it means you are not mature enough to be someone's wife.
And Emma Roberts is now engaged to her boyfriend Evan Peters.  The same guy that she was arrested for attacking a few months back.  She's only twenty-two.  Can't Aunt Julia put a stop to this?  I mean, she got engaged to Kiefer Sutherland at twenty-three and we all know how that worked out.

Kids, the only benefit to getting married so young is that you'll also be divorced young.

Shia LaDouche
It's hard to believe that women like Rihanna and Carey Mulligan once dated Shia LaBeouf.  So, if you haven't been following his plagiarism scandal, let me break it down for you.  Shia made a short film called about a film critic, but it turned out he used direct lines of dialogues and images from Daniel Clowes' graphic novel Justin M. Damiano.  Shia didn't give Clowes any credit, but lifted direct passages from the book.  Wait.  It gets worse.  Then he proceeded to tweet various apologies those were PLAGIARIZED too.  Then, he sky wrote an apology to Daniel Clowes which read "I'm Sorry Daniel Clowes."  He came up with that one all on his own.  It astounds me that people in the entertainment industry actually think they can get away with this stuff.  Today, Shia tweeted that he's retiring from public life. 

Bridge Over Troubled Water is not Chris Christie's favorite song right now.
Olivia Pope would be all over this latest political scandal.  Chris Christie, who was probably gearing up for a 2016 presidential run, is in the middle of a political shit storm known as #bridgegate.  In case you've been living under a rock--- long story short: emails recently surfaced proving that members of Christie's staff and inner circle orchestrated it so that two lanes of the George Washington bridge were shutdown in September, causing a massive traffic jam in Fort Lee.  Apparently, this was all a revenge plot against Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich who refused to endorse Christie during his reelection (Rachel Maddown has a different theory).  The lane closures even delayed first responders, including paramedics who were unable to save a ninety-one year old woman who lay unconscious and died before their arrival.  Some affiliated with the mess have resigned and others Christie has fired, and though he claims he knew nothing about it, he's taken responsibility.  Somewhere Hilary Clinton is enjoy a Mai Tai.

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