Thursday, January 23, 2014

the Scandinavian BLOW OFF

A couple weeks ago, I met a friend of my husband's for the first time.  He's single, probably in his late thirties, Indian-American, and a successful actor.  Not famous, but he's had some notable parts in big movies.  And he's single.  Score, I thought!  I have several eligible bachelorettes I can introduce him to.  So, I ask him if he has a type and he says:

Yes.  Tall, blond, Scandinavian looking.  (I'm paraphrasing, but you get the picture.)  CUT TO:

A couple years ago.  I have a cute British friend I want to set up with my drop-dead gorgeous Asian friend.  I ask him if he has a type.  He says yes.  Tall, blond, European looking.  CUT TO:

Like years and years ago.  A guy I'm head over heels for meets someone he hearts more than me.  And then they get married and she's tall and blond (I'm assuming, because I'm too cool for Facebook sleuthing) and from Denmark which is part of Scandinavia. 

I'm REALLY short and a brunette and I'm Middle-eastern.  Basically, these men could have said: yes, my type is your exact physical opposite.  Which is fine by me, because I'm married and who cares...but hold up.  A couple of my husband's exes have been tall, blond, and Scandinavian looking.  And recently he let it slip that the chick from Wolf of Wall Street is one of the hottest girls ever.  Hmmm...

Wait.  You know who else is tall and blond and scandinavian looking?  BARBIE.  Okay, technically, she's doll-sized but if she were a person, she would be tall.

I honestly thought guys wanting to be with tall blondes was a silly cliche, but all this time I've been lying to myself.  Basically, these dudes (not my husband cause he married me) are like KKK members when it comes to their dating style. 

The Indian-American guy actually told me that this all stems from Madison Avenue back in the day when they decided to use Scandinavian women as models for advertisements; thus, making them the physical ideal in America.  I knew Don Draper was somehow behind this.

But ladies, if you're not tall and blonde-- don't worry.  Not ALL men are into that. The rest of them have Asian fetishes!


  1. I'm a tall blond girl. Swedish and English are my main ethnicities, but that's so boring! I always wish I was more exotic looking. Something like Kim Kardashian, but maybe not that short or bootylicious. I'm attracted to dark hair/eyed guys with tan skin, probably because it's the exact opposite of me. Luckily I married a man who's half Mexican, and clearly he likes the tall blond type. He also said the girl in Wolf of Wall Street was the hottest thing ever, but I look nothing like her so I feel like I can still be annoyed with that comment.

  2. I love this! I bet you guys will have beautiful babies. Also, to quote my husband I think he said something like "no one is hotter than that girl"
    However, I'm not convinced she's a natural blond. And also, she actually looks a lot like jamie presley.

    1. Thanks! I hope so too! I can't remember my husband's exact words, but he made it clear he thought she was gorgeous. Insert eye roll here. I searched images of her, Margot Robbie in case you want to do the same, and she looks to be dirty dishwater blond or maybe light brown at the roots. And, she's Australian! Not Scandinavian!

  3. Saaara if you look for guys that are not into the Scandinavian girl fantasy, you should come live in Scandinavie. Here being short brunette type is actually a good thing. It helps you to stand out.
    And by the way, at least in Norway, you have a lot of short blond girl too...

    1. Thanks French Cheese! If my husband ever leaves me for a tall blond, I may just do that!

  4. Haha hilarious. I know guys that love tall blondes and guys that love Asian women. I also have tall blonde friends and Asian friends who are hopelessly single, so go figure. I'm also a petite brunette (guys usually say curvy and exotic, although I'm only a size 4, had no idea that was "curvy"). I don't bother pursuing men for this reason. They often have a type. I went out with a guy I took more than my usual initiative with and he gave me a luke warm month. Now he's married to a tall blonde and his ex wife was a tall blonde. Neither women were very attractive, but that was his thing clearly. I feel like if someone really really likes your type you get a leg up. Like you get bumped from being an 7 to a 9 or vice versa.