Wednesday, January 15, 2014

You're engaged and now everyone hates you

Congratulations!  You're engaged!  Guess what?  Everyone hates you.  Or at least that's how it feels lately according to the internet.  It's true.  Engaged couples are the new Anne Hathaway.

A couple weeks ago, Erica wrote one of my all time favorite posts about the biggest engagement cliche: taking pictures in a the field.  It instantly became one of the most viewed articles on our site (190 likes!)-- mainly because Erica is fucking hilarious (seriously, I want to harvest her brain and siphon off the creative genius)- but I also think everything she said struck a chord with our readers.  Especially the single ones.  I even had to post my own engagement picture with the post to admit that I was once that annoying engaged couple. 

That same week, I came across this article on Cosmo that listed all the annoying things engaged couples do. 

As a married person-- I don't have as much perspective on the issue, because when my friends get engaged, I'm like: Yes!  Another person on my team!  BUT I'm guessing for single peeps it's sort of similar to the way I feel when Facebook friends post pictures of their ultrasounds or pregnancy tests or side belly shots.  And I'm like: I'm so happy for you....here's another picture of my pug!

You know what-- scratch that.  I'm lying.  It's not fair to just make this a single VS engaged person issue.  Even all of us married peeps are envious of engaged couples because they seem so happy and in love and they still have their wedding to look forward to...we miss those days.

Which is why originally when I started writing this post last week, I was going to make my own list of ways engaged peeps could avoid getting on all our nerves...but the more I thought about it, the more I realized: FUCK THAT.

You are engaged.  This is awesome.  You have gone through heartbreak and horrible boyfriends and  false starts and abrupt endings and dry spells and bad sex and great sex-- all while listening to a shit ton of super sad songs-- but now you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.  AND they want to spend the rest of their life with you.  That's awesome.  Be happy.  (cause honestly, marriage is crazy hard).

Talk about your wedding as much as you want.  Read thousands of Bridal magazines.  Waste three hours a day on Style Me Pretty.  Get those engagement photos.  They're really pretty and they will make all your ex-boyfriends on Facebook jealous.  Trust me, you don't want the only nice pictures of you to be in bridal attire.

Furthermore: don't be paranoid all through wedding planning that you need to tone it down or find everyone else in your life a significant other so that you won't suffer from survivor's guilt.  It's okay.  They'll all find people to hook up with at your wedding.  I remember being ultra-concerned that all my girlfriends secretly thought I was the worst person in the world during the wedding planning phase.  I tried to do everything in my power to make things "less painful" on everyone involved and guess what?  I'm sure peeps still found me incredibly annoying and self-absorbed.  Probs because I was.  (side note: just please don't be the person who pretends wedding planning isn't stressful at all.  That really is the most annoying thing in the world.)

Don't get me wrong, engaged couple still need to be a little sensitive to those less fortunate (and by that, I only mean the people who want to be engaged) but the rest of us also need to be less vitriolic (Not Erica, because comedy trumps vitriol).

I mean, imagine if we had the same disdain for divorced couples?  What if we wrote Cosmo articles about how people who couldn't make their marriages work were assholes for destroying our faith in true love?

Think about it, guys.  That would be seriously fucked up. 

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. it's kind of a girly blog if you haven't noticed.

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  2. I'm already married, so my opinion shouldn't be counted as single girl bitterness, but I think that engagement photos are cheesy and irritating. Most wedding culture is irritating because it never feels like it's about the love and connection within the relationship; wedding culture is usually about the girl trying to present her perfect life to social media. Engagement photos are especially ridiculous because you can actually see the girl physically manipulating the guy for more "likes". It's not like people take engagement photos and then just have them in their home and not plastered all over instagram.

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