Thursday, February 13, 2014

Happy Galentine's Day

For all of you that are dreading tomorrow and the holiday whose name shall not be spoken: fear not. Because today is GALentine's day.  That's right.  February 13th is a national holiday in which you are required to go out with your girlfriends and leave anything with a penis at home.  I know what you're thinking.  Did you get this from an episode of Parks & Recreation?  Damn straight I did.

Here are a few reasons why Galentine's Day is so much better than that other holiday.

#1 It's not a Hallmark holiday.  No giant corporations will be making any money off of this.  They simply don't have Galentine's Day cards.  (Note to self: pitch Galentine's Day cards to Hallmark and make millions).

#2 The only people that feel left out on Galentine's day are men.  But if they wanted to be as cool as us they could send out paperless posts for Guyentine's day.  Though I'm guessing they would be shot to death by their friends if they did that.  (Note to self: pitch Galentine's Day & Guyentine's Day cards to Paperless Post and make millions).

#3 People in relationships don't have to feel guilty on Galentine's Day for having significant others and single people don't have to feel sad and lonely.  We leave all those confusing emotions for that rare breed of woman that has no girlfriends and will probably be the only chick at a Guyentine's Day party. 

#4 You don't have to worry about any of your friends committing a sneak attack by bringing their spouses along.  Cause the punishment for that on G-day is a public hanging--- which in my opinion is totally just.

So the ladies on Parks & Rec celebrate Galentine's Day with breakfast food-- but you know what's even better than waffles?  Copious glasses of red wine.  Which is what I will be drinking tonight with a group of my lady friends at a wine bar in Los Feliz.  This is not a night for a staying in with your friends.  Why?  Cause nothing soothes the pain of that other holiday than meeting a cute guy at a classy establishment at the tail end of Galentine's Day.

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