Thursday, March 27, 2014

an open letter to THAT GIRL.

I realize I may be married now, but I still find myself bewildered by those ladies who never seem to be single.  One relationship ends and another one seamlessly begins.  So, I've done what every sane person with a break up blog would do, I've written a semi-scathing open letter.  Ahem:

Dear that girl who always has a boyfriend,

How do you do it?  No, seriously.  HOW?  I had dry spells-- some by choice, some not-- that lasted years.  I put myself out there.  I went out on dates.  I hooked up with guys.  Some of them I wasn't into.  Some of them weren't into me.  Do you realize just how rare it is for two people to not only like each other at the same time-- but also like each other enough to want to date exclusively?  It's about as common as hanging out with a leprechaun.  It like hardly ever happens.

So, please: tell us.  What is your secret?  Are you just that wonderful of a person that men are drawn to you left and right?  Are you stunning?  Do you exude confidence?  I need to know the truth.  Be honest.

Or do you not like yourself enough?  Maybe alone time scares you and you immediately get bored.  Maybe your self esteem plummets without a man telling you you're awesome.  Maybe you derive your worth from sex and spooning.  Maybe you're just not that into you.

The thing is, I know your type.  I've been friends with your type.  You swear the rest of us just don't see it. We're all being judgmental.  He's really wonderful when it's just the two of you.  You've never felt this way about anyone before.  You didn't mean to get into another relationship right away-- it just sort of happened. No one plans these things. 

Look.  Here's the thing.  We all know that's total BS.  We all know you've had boyfriends none of us would ever date, even if they told us we were the Bey to their Jay-Z.  We know that your standards are mostly non-existent and that the reason the rest of us have dry spells is because we won't just date anyone.  And that's okay.  But it would be nice if once in awhile you could stop pretending you're so awesome and irresistible and admit: you just don't like being alone.

Love Saaara

3 comments:

  1. Love this post. And the photo. It reminds me of a team building exercise in which you have to get your shirt onto someone else's body without using your hands. Remember that one?? Me neither.

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  2. "You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are - won't let go of one branch until they've got a grip on the next!" -- Mission Impossible 2

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