Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Real Life Rom-Com: The Final Act

You know when you think you're done? Like the word fin should be flashing on your brain like it was a movie screen. Well sadly that's usually not the last part of your story- especially when it has anything to do with sex, romance, or anything to do with male/female relations. If you haven't read my Real Life Rom-Com posts you can check them out or refresh your memory here.

I don't know what it is but I have felt absolutely zero need to contact the guy. Not even when I'm drunk and lonely at 2am or later. I don't know if it was some sort of sign that I've actually achieved the next level or emotional maturity (highly unlikely) or if it was some kind of intuition.

But since I wrote, "Ok thanks," I've been radio silent. He has been as well except for texting me "Happy Birthday XO" on my birthday. I didn't respond. First of all birthday texts are how this whole thing started in the first place. Secondly I didn't want to acknowledge him. Third, why should I thank him for saying happy birthday like any normal human does for another human? Forth, I wasn't thankful. Actually I feel like that's kind of a dick move. You intentionally screw someone over, don't talk to them for months and then on their birthday you're supposed to get brownie points for stringing two words of the English language together? Sorry but not the way it works with me. It's not like shortly after our text exchange he reached out to me to ask how I am or anything so I was certainly going to remain reticent on this.

I haven't heard from him since and I'm actually totally okay with that. Then last weekend I was checking Instagram and I saw he posted a picture. He's posted a few since this whole thing went down and I haven't liked any of them. But this time I noticed an LA hashtag. Wait....WHAT? The whole reason we got into an argument in the first place is because you "couldn't come to LA because it brought up too many memories of your ex" and now not only are you here but you're documenting it with social media and hashtags!

So I did what any red-blooded woman would do...I stalked his Instagram. I looked at pictures he was tagged in and he'd been in LA for a week...with his ex-gf. On one level I feel like they totally deserve each other. She's completely unattractive (yes, I know that's shallow but it's really true and the sentiment was reiterated by friends of mine that met her before the whole thing even started with me and the guy so they weren't saying it for my benefit) and totally broke his heart last time and will inevitably do it again. And he's pretty much an ass because I'm sure their rekindling was going on when we hooked up and the entire time we were talking, so that's what she's getting. I mean that's the logical explanation and it finally all makes sense.

I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt because it doesn't feel good to be discarded by anyone or treated like you're second best, but it was something that I couldn't avoid. In his eyes she's always going to be the one that got away and he was emotionally stunted from their break up and who wants to deal with that? Who knows, maybe they'll be the next Ashton and Mila, but I'm looking for my Taylor Kitsch.



  1. So true, I think we have all been on both sides of that. If the person you are dating has someone else in the back of their mind that they love or are hoping to get back with, you will never replace that position in their mind, no matter how wonderful you are. I have dated after bad break ups and the guy could have been super amazing, but still not "him." It sucks and I feel like dating is always a risk of this no matter what..because if they/we aren't in a relationship with someone, there is that last person that they/we were with....and maybe everyone is over it and maybe they aren't.

  2. I hate that this is the way it ended with this guy but i do think you dodged a bullet. Also loved what you said about not writing him back when he texted you happy birthday. one of my former flames married the girl he was supposedly over when he was hooking up with me.

  3. I feel like for guys especially, if they have "the one who got away" and they get another chance with her, they will take it. My friend was dating this guy and he just dumped her because this girl he was in love with forever just broke up with his gf. But he said she'd always be "number 2." He actually said that!! I can't tell decide if it's better if there is a tangible reason for a guy not wanting to be with you (like another girl) or if they just aren't feeling it. I guess it sucks either way. But a wise guy friend of mine told me "if he makes you feel like shit, he's not your soulmate. Your soulmate won't make you feel shit." I think that's really the bottom line.