Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Men Who Don't Wear Wedding Rings (and why they're shady)

Remember the days where you saw a guy at a bar, thought he was cute, ended up chatting and if he had a girlfriend he'd somehow slip it into conversation? If he did and he didn't he was a dick, but the onus was on him to provide you with that information. As the years have gone on and we've all gotten older instead of waiting for a hint to be dropped in conversation the responsibility was on us women to check out the man's left hand and see if he's wearing a wedding band.

Whenever I see a cute guy, it's the first thing that I do. I don't want to get my hopes up and imagine a life and 3 kids (Elouise, Sebastian, and Evan- a girl) if there isn't even a possibility. But recently there have been a number of SNAFU's with this strategy. I'm noticing more and more men NOT wearing wedding rings. WTF is up with that? I know that was a lot of abbreviations in one paragraph but that's how angry it makes me- and I'm not even married.

Let me tell you one thing for damn sure. When I get married my husband better be wearing a wedding ring and wearing it at all times. I've heard all of the excuses.

"I don't like to wear jewelry."

"It irritates me."

"I take it off to shower or go to the gym and forgot to put it on."

Yeah fucking right. Even if you aren't taking it off with the intention to cheat or pick up women, not wearing it is a sign that you're available. It invites inappropriate behavior. It gives the illusion that you are single. It dismisses the fact that you have a wife who is now not acknowledged. I don't talk to married men the way I talk to single men. Not that I'm trying to seduce each single man I talk to, but when I know they are married I make sure to watch my words carefully so nothing can be misconstrued as me hitting on them. I want to be respectful.

There it is. The word respect. I think it's just plain disrespectful to not wear a wedding ring. You proposed, you took vows, wear the damn ring. I honestly can't think of one good reason for a man to not wear his wedding ring. Can you? How would you feel if your husband didn't wear a ring?

XO,
Wannabe

17 comments:

  1. I kind of feel the same way. My hubby does take his off to workout i.e. lifting weights, to shower, and to cook. We have little ring holders in the kitchen and bathroom for this purpose, but he always wears the ring when he leaves the house. It took some practice on his part because he'd never worn a ring till our wedding day but it's become habit for him. I know the ring doesn't make the marriage but since we spent a lot of damn money on his white gold band, he better wear it!

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  2. My husband and I were on our way to a party once and just as he was about to get on the freeway, he realized he wasn't wearing his ring and i made him turn around and get it. We were going to be with a lot of people we didn't know that well and I didn't want them to think he was the type not to wear a ring. One time, on a girls weekend, my cousins and I ran into a family friend at a club. He's married but was not wearing his ring. Later, we noticed that he slipped it on. SHADY.

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    1. My husband and I have been married 19 years. Like most married couples we have had our problems. He never wears his ring anymore. He says it's because of our fighting (he use to just take it off during one of our fights) and because he is a marijauna activist. Apparently he doesn't want to talk about me or our children to other activists. I think it's blatant disrespect and a cop-out. You can't be an activist with a family? Bull shit. And he wonders why we fight so much. I'm at my wits end.

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  3. This post is worthy of appreciation, looking forward to more exciting! elementi di swarovski

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  4. jeez, you women sure are into your men as property. Why not tattoo it on his face or pierce his cock?

    It seems pretty insecure that you have such a need to put your brand on your men to demonstrate your ownership.

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    1. anonymous, would you be annoyed if your wife never wore her engagement ring or wedding band? just curious.

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  5. Neither my husband nor I wear a wedding band because we never bought one. Been together 14 years. I'm not sure what kind of introductory conversations you conduct with men without rings that would be in bad taste, but you may want to consider reevaluating your approach. On the other hand, any man who values his marriage will soon mention his wife in conversation, whether he's wearing a ring or not. By the way, studies have shown married men to be more attractive to single women than unmarried men. The band is a challenge to aggressive women. So there's that..

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  6. I don't wear my wedding ring because it interferes with the line of work that I'm in and I think my wife understands, but I'm not too sure.

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  7. As if wearing a wedding ring will ever stop your husbands dick from entering another woman's vagina if he wanted to. You seem really insecure, made him drive home to get the ring? Wow... Why are you even married to him if you don't trust him? Seems like the only thing you trust is the act of him wearing a ring rather than your actual relationship.

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    1. Welcome to marriage, where many commitments are made. And truthfully women learn all men are untrustworthy at some point, so yeah they are concerned. Knowing people in general and running a bar, I get it.

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  8. If my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring, why should I?

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    1. Good point. Whenever I notice my husband has slipped off his ring, I slip mine off and take advantage of my free finger to wear itge jewelry. He doesn't even notice (or care).

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  9. I don't wear a ring because I don't wear jewellery, neither do I wear a watch. It was not a problem with my wife who realises that it was not a magic anti-cheating ring. Frankly, if she decided not to wear hers, then I wouldn't care. We were together 9 years before we got married and neither of us cheated on either without the power of rings. Also, maybe in Britain at least, it is still a recent trend, my father didn't wear one and he got married 35 years ago. Maybe it's been around longer in America.

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  10. My husband doesn't wear his wedding ring since after our wedding day. He told me that he's not comfortable and he's not a jewelry type of person. I trusted and respected him to not press on the issue. Up until December, I found out he has been flirting and seeing different women. I get nothing but lies and deceptions from trusting and respecting him.

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  11. Just read this for the first time. Shame on me. This post is from 2014? This is why The Blow Off is the best - it really talks about relevant relationship issues that anyone can relate to and we can all have a civilized discussion about it. Thanks Sara for having us!

    I just got married last year and Johnny never wanted a wedding ring so we didn't get him one. He said he would never wear it, and so when I saw the pricetags for these rings, I figured, waste of money. My parents are cooks so they never wore wedding rings themselves so it was not strange to me that Johnny didn't want to wear one. I admit sometimes I have wished he wore one, but I've respected his decision. I mean, it was really hard to have a wedding party with a husband without a ring! I have friends question me about it all the time- it is certainly unconventional.

    I will say it's easier knowing that he never wore one rather than a husband who takes it off from time to time. That I do think is weird and I would probably get all suspicious about it. At the end of the day it's a trust issue between husband and wife and yes, a ring won't stop your husband from philandering. A cheater is a cheater with or without a ring.

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