Tuesday, May 6, 2014

emotional cheating & the BLOW OFF

I was visiting my brother in San Francisco over the weekend and on Sunday night, we ate dinner at Mama Ji's Restaurant in the Castro.  I'm giving you guys the specifics, because this post is dedicated to the couple who was sitting next to us.  If you're reading this-- white skinny hipster guy and oh so cool Asian hipster girlfriend-- there's something you should know.  We spent part of our dinner eavesdropping on your ridiculous conversation and when you left the restaurant-- we looked at the couple sitting on the other side of you and we all loudly declared:

"Those people were the worst!!!!"

It appears they were listening to your conversation too.  For those of you that weren't at Mama Ji's Sunday night, allow me to explain.  Some of the details I missed were provided to me by the other table.

White hipster told his GF that his dad (who recently divorced his mom) is now dating a woman who's planning on separating from her husband, but they're still technically married.  That revelation turned into a debate about cheating.  Well, actually it was more like cool Asian girlfriend listing off basically every cheating hypothetical to her boyfriend and then telling him which ones she'd be most and least upset about.  You sort of had to be there, because it was really the tone of the girl's voice and the pretentious/evolved way she discussed the topic that made it extra annoying. 

BUT she basically went into specifics about what kind of texts on his phone she'd be upset about if she ever snooped through it.  Then she proceeded to tell him (and this is where she got really annoying) that she'd be way more pissed about emotional cheating than him fucking another girl, because she "doesn't care about his body.  It's just flesh.  It's like a sack of flour."  They paid their check and on their way out the door, he slapped her ass. 

Say what?  A sack of flour?  What the...even John Mayer isn't that cruel.  He thinks your body is a wonderland!  I wanted to stop everything and call the casting director on GIRLS, to tell them I just found the perfect fifth castmember of the show.  AND she'd add some diversity.

Okay, so annoying hipster couple aside: do you guys agree with this sentiment?  Is emotional cheating really worse than physically cheating?  Would you really be that much more upset about your significant other talking to someone else about his feelings and getting butterflies in his stomach VS sticking his penis into another vagina, squeezing someone else's boobs, thrusting his body inside of her over and over gain, and then laying naked next to this other person after having an orgasm?!  Call me crazy, but I could bounce back from "I really love talking to her" more than "I really love fucking her."  But then again, I also don't think of the H-bomb's body as a sack of flour.

I think it's a lot more common (and sometimes accidental) to stumble onto an emotional connection with another person than to stumble into bed with another person.  I mean, I stumble onto emotional connections with my Lyft drivers (sup Robbie ;) but I think that's way more innocent than giving them road head.  But what do I know.

PS how much do you want to bet White Hipster is totally going to bang someone else a-s-a-p?


  1. I feel like emotional and physical cheating each come with their own set of insecurities I'd be left with if my partner engaged in either. If it was physical I'd be obsessed with the fact that I wasn't sexy enough or hot enough or good enough in bed and that would manifest itself in a whole slew of ways and if it was emotional I would probably need therapy right off the bat to wonder what it was that I did or didn't do that made him stray emotionally.

  2. I think either situation would be very bothersome to me. To me, betrayal is betrayal. Maybe this is why I'm still single (LOL). I wouldn't put up with either emotional or physical cheating. I would end my relationship either way. If he broke my trust and did this, then to me something is missing from our relationship. I would probably want to talk it over once I've calmed down, to see what lead him to do this, but I would most likely have to end the relationship.

  3. Okay guys, but if you had to pick ONE-- how would you rather get cheated on?

  4. LOL! Love the accompanying photo. No, I definately agree with you, and when you describe it like that - him sexing another person, and get down to the basics of it, I imagined an ex and if he had cheated on me (he kinda did, but let's not get into that), and that was SO off-putting.

    I think you can't have physical without emotional (not true for everyone, probs just me). I would be okay with a boyfriend sharing a bond with some other chick, probs be crazy jealous about it, but if he sleeps with her, that something else! But then again, emotional cheating could lead to physical cheating. Either way, don't cheat!

    White hipster is totally going to cheat on her! She just basically gave him the "ok go"! And haha! sack of flour - hilarious